Thursday, December 11, 2008

not all bad...

Not everything about our Saturday outing with the kids turned out horribly. While we were standing in the really long line to see Santa, I was able to get some cute pictures of Ruby. I had to bribe her with my lip gloss...which actually turned out to be a pretty cute prop in some of the photos.

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Reaching up to touch a falling snowflake. This pic would have turned out so much better if I could have actually captured some of the snow as it was falling...unfortunately, it was melting midair. Only in Arizona will the snow melt before it even hits the ground.

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life's little ironies...

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I have this habit of going into situations with super low expectations...that way I can't ever be disappointed. Right? Like, just to give an example, when I went to see the movie, Twilight. I had extremely low expectations for the movie because I thought the books were pretty much...well...terrible. And what would you know? I loved it! I don't really know if this is a good philosophy or not. I realize that sometimes you just need to put your heart out there, to get really, really excited about something, to be able to trust people; and in the end, if you end up getting hurt, or disappointed, or betrayed in some way, (which oftentimes happens), well then, at least you gained something from the experience...little bits of knowledge or experience which can help you become a better, stronger, maybe even kinder or more tolerable individual. It makes me think of the old proverb It's better to love and lost, than to have never loved at all. In a way it's the same idea. Take a chance, put your heart out there, and you'll be better off than if you never hoped, or dreamed, or wished, or sacrificed, or expected.

With that said, I've been trying to raise my expectations a bit more, which I'm afraid, at times, has resulted in some very idealistic - even unrealistic - hopes and dreams. And then I almost always end up disappointed.

Such was the case on Saturday when we took the kids to the mall for pictures with Santa. Prior to this anticipated event, I had purchased a beautiful satin ivory dress for Ruby, and a coordinating pair of cords, dress shirt, and sweater vest for Asher. For weeks I'd envisioned this perfect day...getting the most perfect picture of our most perfect children, sitting on the lap of the most perfect Santa I'd ever seen. Was that really too much to wish for? Well, Murphy's law says that if anything can go wrong, it will.
And so it was with our afternoon on Santa's lap...which turned out to be far less than picture perfect.

After standing in line for a dreadful hour and a half - during which we alternated taking Ruby to the restroom twice - our moment had finally arrived. One of the kind worker elves let us through the gate, and signaled to us which way we were to go to enjoy our few moments with Kris Kringle himself. As soon as we rounded the corner, and caught glimpse of the man in the big red suit (who was indeed the cutest Santa I had ever encountered...the exact face, and beard, and build I had always seen in my childhood visions of St. Nick), Ruby became absolutely hysterical...kicking, and screaming, and twisting, and thrashing - which is totally what she did last year, too, but I guess I expected (there I go with my expectations again) that she had outgrown this silly fear stage that most children - at least at some point - experience toward Santa. And then there was Asher, our happy little Asher, who had not made so much as a peep the whole time we were in line, decided that the exact moment we placed him and Santa's lap, was precisely the moment in which he needed his bottle; and that he was not going to wait even half a millisecond for it. It had to be because he was hungry, right?...after all, he's too young to be afraid of Santa.

Ah, what a day (of broken expectations) to remember...and, ah...the ironies of life.

I guess I'm still trying to find that middle ground. I'm contemplating the idea of just ditching the whole expectation thing altogether...because if I never have any expectations, then maybe I can just always be surprised.

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This made me laugh...Ruby was completely and utterly terrified of Santa Claus, but wanted her picture taken with the 8 foot (and in my opinion...rather scary looking) Chick-fil-A cow??? I don't know if I'll ever understand that one.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

i'm so glad we didn't...

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I'd be lying if I told you I never entertained the idea of sending Dix-d to the pound. In fact, in the beginning, I experienced some real I think I must be losing my mind moments. Moments in which I felt myself at the brink of a major breakdown. I was tired, worn out, and had grown weary of the repeated cleaning, scrubbing, and sanitizing urine-soaked floors, carpets, walls, baseboards, sliding glass doors, rugs and curtains. My indignation emerged as I became cognizant of the fact that every time I turned my back, mysterious tootsie-roll like treasures began materializing on my rugs and carpet throughout the house. Even when I had him on a leash for constant supervision, he defecated behind my back while I was making Ruby a sandwich. I was tired of walking in my house - a house which at one time perfumed of fresh linen, Clorox, and Pinesol - only to be overcome by the redolences of stale pee, wet dog hair, fresh doggie stools, and bad...I mean really bad, breath.
And I haven't even mentioned the crying at night. Oh, the crying at night. We decided that if we were to ever go out of town, and leave him with somebody, he would need to be trained to sleep in his crate. We had been told that he may cry for a night or two, but that he would soon learn to sleep through the night, and also acquire a love for his crate. But after being kept awake during the twilight hours - for two consecutive weeks - as the cries, the wails, the yaps, the howls, the barks of desperation...resonated through the walls and into my aching eardrums, I decided I had had enough. I even tried wearing earplugs at night, but then was worried I wouldn't hear Asher if he were to wake and need my assistance. Quite funny to note that night after night of incessant clamor, there my sweet John lay in a deep, deep, uninterrupted, and very peaceful slumber...bless his heart. I finally declared to this sweet husband of mine that Dix-d was coming back to our bed. I had lost too much precious sleep because of this animal, who was not even one of my children, and I wasn't going to deal with it another night. I'm glad he consented - (did he really have a choice?) - because ever since we gave up on the crate thing, my life has been so much better, and so much more enjoyable. It's amazing how much a good night's rest (or bad) can directly affect your moods and attitudes during the subsequent days.
So, now that I'm in such a good mood, please allow me some bragging rights...
Dix-d has never had an accident on our bed, he always sleeps through the night, and takes up only a mere square ft. at the end of our bed.
The potty training thing has improved almost 100 percent, too. In fact, we haven't had an accident in the house in almost a week, and he has learned to hold his bladder and bowels for long periods of time when were not home. He goes on command as well, so when we let him outside, it's to do his business, and not just to play around. When he goes, we reward him with a mini Filet Mignon flavored t-bone treat...which he loves....and which we love giving to him.
He doesn't chew on anything but his food and dogie treats, nor does he shed.
And except when he's locked up in his crate at night, he never so much as makes a peep. He does not bark when the doorbell rings, or when strangers enter the premise...which doesn't make him a very good watch dog, but then again, that's not the reason we got him. We got him for our kids. For Ruby to be able to overcome her fear of dogs, for Asher to be able to develop a love for animals, and for us, to have, well, to have another loyal friend and companion in the home. He has turned out to be everything we had hoped for, and more, in a dog...he's mellow with the kids, and absolutely adores them.

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Loyal, you ask? Oh, he is fiercely loyal. Truly I couldn't imagine a pet friend possessing more allegiance than Dix-d...who is, coincidentally, curled up at my feet as I type. He gets up whenever I do, even if it's just to grab a tissue, or turn out the light, or toss something into the trash...and if it's to do more than that, you can bet he is right at my heel, following me everywhere I go. It feels good to be loved and adored that much. And to think I was so close to throwing in the towel.

I'm so glad we didn't.

I, just this morning, finished reading the book Marley and Me, by John Grogan. I would recommend that book to any dog lover. You will be guaranteed to cry your eyes out, and then, as promised by my sister, Kim, if you have a pet dog of your own, you will grab him, and wrap your arms around him, and hold him tight, as if to never, ever let go. That's what I did with Dix-d this morning as I concluded the final pages of the book...I just held him, and pat him, and kissed the top of his head...and then thanked the good Lord for blessing our family with such a perfect little treasure.

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

the many faces...

of my little lovey.

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I first and foremost wanted to thank Tawnya for giving up her husband for the evening; and to Jason for volunteering his mad skills to fix our computer/internet. I have had so much to post, but due to our non-functioning internet over the past week, have fallen more and more behind...and consequently, have become more and more agitated.

Thankfully, it's all better now (our computer, as well as my festering irritation)...and I find myself smiling at the sight of these sweet pictures of my little Ash. I can't even describe the feelings of love and adoration that have blossomed in my heart and soul for him. I daren't even imagine what my life would be like if he weren't a part of it.

I love you...my little lovey dove.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

at first glance...

it looks like "eagleston"...don't you think?

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At least that's what John and I thought as we drove through this little old, rundown town on our way to the Boston 1st ward. I remember looking up and seeing "Egleston Nail Salon", and having a good chuckle. Then we saw the "Egleston Physical Therapy", and the "Egleston Licoreria", and both started laughing pretty hard. We decided that on our way home, we'd take pictures of these family owned business...just for fun. However, what we didn't realize at first glance...was that there were "Egleston" shops on every corner of every block. So many, in fact, that my camera shutter had a hard time keeping up with them all.

Just something kind of silly...but totally made us laugh.

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the sleeping ruby...

One less than ideal thing about always being on the go during our trip, was that Ruby never got a "normal" nap. Oh, she napped alright, just never in a bed. Every morning upon waking she would say "let's go get ready, mom"; and as soon as we were ready for the day, she would stand by the front door, and beg to go "bye bye". Knowing that we wouldn't be leaving as quickly as she would have liked, I tried everyday to get her to lie down and relax...hoping that she would drift off into a morning nap. I never succeeded in getting her to nap before we left for the day, and as a result, everyday, without fail, she would fall asleep in her car seat on the way to our destination. We usually had to come up with some creative way of transporting her into the front of the stroller, which was really meant to hold Asher's carrier; but it worked, and she was always able to get some sort of nap in for the day. I'm just so happy that she is so easy going and accommodating. I have heard of kids that will only nap in their own beds, and if that were the case with our little Roo, we wouldn't have been able to do even half of the things we did. And for the most part, she stayed pretty happy, too :) We were so lucky.

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Completely conked out at H&M...loud music and all

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I love the picture on the left. She was so tired one night, that she fell asleep on the edge of the bed...while standing up :)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

the magical red coat...

Before our trip, I posted about the peculiar breakthrough in Asher's medical condition. A breakthrough that came about by way of a little red coat. I call it the "magical" red coat. At first I wasn't sure if it was a strange stroke of luck, a coincidence that every time I tightened the hood snug around his face, he immediately calmed down. But on our trip, this little red coat became the one surefire way to keep our Asher happy. It became our saving grace when nothing else (not even his beloved bottle) would do the trick. It actually became our little joke, whenever he was beyond inconsolable, Aaron would say, "time to break out the red coat". The red coat is also what allowed him to sleep comfortably - and entirely through each night - in his far from comfortable infant carrier. This red coat quickly become our friend.
What I love even more about this magical coat, is the story of how it landed in my possession. If you know my mom, you know that she had an eye for a bargain. She also loved to stock up on things when she found a good deal, and keep them on hand for baby shower gifts, friends' birthday presents, etc. When you're the busy mother of seven children, you always have to be thinking ahead. One particular day, as a teenager, I remember my mom walking through the front door with several bags of baby clothes. She had happened upon a really good sale, and although her "baby" was now a toddler, and naturally would not be wearing any of these fab findings, she - always thinking ahead - purchased them to have on hand as gifts. As she pulled from the bags the typical baby outfits...a pink one here...a blue there; I remember my eyes being drawn to the bright red item showing through one of the clear plastic retail bags. As she pulled out the tiny red coat, I could only think one thing...This is adorable! I must have actually been doing my thinking out loud, because the next thing I knew, she was giving it to me. She told me to tuck it away for the day that I have my own children. And so I did. For 15 years, I held on to that coat. And I'm so happy I did. Ruby was never able to wear it because it was 115 degrees here when she was finally big enough to fit into it. In my mind, the coat was always meant for Asher. It's like a little tender mercy from the Lord. A little way of letting me know that my mom's still my mom. That she will always be a part of my life. That even though she's not here...she's still here. That she's very aware of me (and my children), and the challenges we face. I think it was His little way of allowing her to continue being the mom she always was, and the grandma she always wanted to be. The one who always made everything...all better.

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sad and sadder...

Our last day in Boston, we thought it would be fun to do a little photo shoot with the boys. We layered them up in matching striped onsies over long-sleeved white undershirts; and set them side by side on a blanket in front of a large window. We had hoped for a little more cooperation from the little guys, but I guess that's what we get for waiting until (literally) the very last minute.

What's funny about these pictures is how truly indicative they are of the boys' behavior throughout the week. One would be happy (mostly Cormac), and the other would be crying (mostly Asher)...and pretty soon, they were both raising the roof in simultaneous wails.

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This last picture is probably the best, but notice how red and swollen Asher's left eye is from crying so hard. Wow, that was some ordeal. Twins would be so hard.