dearest baby,

it was only 5 days ago that your daddy and i found out about you. to say that we were excited would be an understatement. we have struggled for 4.5 years to get you here. in that time we have lost two pregnancies, seen numerous doctors and specialists, undergone tests and procedures, taken a hundred pregnancy tests, uttered countless prayers, spent hours in the temple, and still...we haven't given up hope that in His own due time, the Lord would see fit to bless us with another child. we feel so extremely blessed, but at the same time {given our poor pregnancy track record} we can't help but feel nervous. because of this, we had decided that if mom were ever to get pregnant again, we would have to keep it a secret for months {or at least until we knew that the pregnancy would be good and viable}, but a funny thing happened, sweet baby. your daddy and i have been planning on going on the pioneer trek with the youth in our stake, and were actually supposed to be leaving this week. when we found out about you, we were thinking about not saying anything to anyone, and maybe just trying to go anyway.but as were were lying in bed that night, we decided that we needed to be obedient. we knew that there was a rule against pregnant women going on trek, and we knew if we were to disregard the rules, that the Lord would be disappointed in us for our lack of obedience. plus, it was such a painstaking process, getting you here. we had wanted you so badly, and prayed for you so earnestly, and done everything in our power to get you here...we just weren't willing to take the chance that something might happen to you because we had decided to go. so late that night, daddy had to send out an email to several people in the ward and stake, making them aware of our situation, and letting them know that we wouldn't be able to participate as a ma and pa couple for trek {which would be taking place in only 3 days!}. we felt terrible putting everybody in that kind of a bind, but we felt so much peace as the Spirit confirmed to us that we had made the right decision.and so there it was, our secret was out.

dear sweet baby, we dream about you all the time.

we talk about you, and wonder about you, and anticipate {more than anything else} your arrival.

we are so excited for you to join our family. in fact, when i first told your brother and sister about you, they both screamed at the top of their lungs...and then, of course, i joined in too.

we pray for you, and hope with all of our hearts that this is really it, that the time for you to join us is now.

if everything goes according to plan, you should make your great debut mid-february of next year.

i can't think of a better valentine's gift, my love.

i just know my heart will be bursting at the seams.

all the love in the whole wide world,

mom

birthday burgs

may 24th, 2011

ruby got to celebrate her birthday today with her teacher and classmates {since her real birthday is during the summer}. we had known for awhile about this day, and that she'd be able to pick out any treat she wanted to bring and share with her friends. she saw a picture of these little hamburgers online one day as i was looking at a craft blog, and literally begged me to make them for her birthday treat. i laughed that more than cookies or cupcakes, brownies or pizzookies {all things we had originally talked about}, she wanted these little cookie burgers. i obliged {i mean, how can one deny the request of the birthday girl?} and surprisingly, they turned out pretty cute...and pretty good, too {yes i may have helped myself to a birthday burger...or two}.

party bed...

may 20th, 2011

i don't want asher getting too used to the party bed {aka mom and dad's bed} like his older sister has, because that has been a hard habit to break...

but i guess i don't mind if it's every once in a while...for instance, when he hits his head so hard, he passes out, or on the rare occasion that daddy's out of town {well sometimes it's not so rare}, and mom needs some extra company.

and i swear, there is nothing more perfect than a couple of sleeping children.

they always looks like angels, no matter what kind of heck they raised during the day...when they're asleep, they appear so angelic.

wouldn't you agree?

tonight i'm so incredibly thankful for my two sleeping angels.

34

may 25th 2011

john did a much better job with my birthday than i did with his - despite my best intentions and efforts. he took a couple of hours off of work, mid-day, and we headed back downtown {second time in two days} to the arizona science center and used the tickets i had gotten him for his birthday. we then hit up a fun restaurant that my friend, diana, had suggested called the duce. it was a really low-key local place with a cool urban vibe. they had free valet parking, great retro clothing and decor, and yummy organic food...but my favorite was probably the cute little vintage soda and pie bar. loved it. very cool. i highly recommend it to anyone who happens to be in the downtown phoenix area.


john had to get back to finish up his work day, but that night we went out as a family to five guys {he knows it's one of my favorites...atta boy}.the plan was to hit up coldstone for dessert, and then drop the kids off with the baby-sitter while we headed out for a late night movie...but...after giving it much thought, we concluded that we were just too full for dessert... and too tired for the movie.we thought it best to head home, get the kids in bed, and then have another go at the redbox movie we had rented for john's birthday, yeah the one during which i so rudely fell asleep after only 30 minutes. we got in bed, snuggled up together...and what would you know?i made it about 10 minutes, and was out.
turning 34 is really taking it's toll on me.and that's pathetic.

a 32nd birthday flop

may 23rd, 2011

i wanted more than anything for john to feel special this year on his birthday. poor guy has always had to share his special day. growing up, it was with his twin {and their other brother - who's birthday is the very next day}. and then he met me and added yet another person to share his birthday with {mine's just two days later}. now i want to make this very clear, john certainly has never complained about being a twin or having to share his special day with anyone else, but still, i've always thought that everyone deserves their very own day to be honored and spoiled rotten. i do my best to accomplish just that every year for my sweet john. this year was a struggle, though. money's a bit tight, so he asked me not to get him anything. seriously, john? do you really think i could let you wake up on your birthday...without a single gift? you don't know me very well then, do you?
i tried to honor his request by at least getting him some practical gifts. for instance, he travels a lot, and his once trusty suitcase just recently had gone kaput, so i got him a new one. he dresses up for work everyday, and it's tough for me to keep up with the laundering and ironing {especially the ironing}, so i took his shirts to the cleaners {they did a much better job with those perfectly starched creases that he likes than i could ever dream of doing myself}. we got him a couple other super practical gifts including some new dress pants {he's been wearing the same 5 pairs for the past 5 or 6 years}, and a few gift certificates to get the cars washed. i know, not the least bit exciting, but i know if i had gotten him an ipad {or anything else fun and frivolous for that matter}, he most likely would have returned it. i think he was pretty happy with his realistic, useful, and {in my opinion} super boring gifts.
i lined up a babysitter for that evening, and surprised him with tickets to see the body worlds and the brain exhibition that was going on at the arizona science center. unfortunately, we got all the way downtown, only to find that the science center had closed 30 minutes prior to our arrival. i'm not at all familiar with downtown phoenix, so i had solicited the help of my facebook friends in picking a place to take him to dinner. one of the restaurants was described as being a cute, romantic, 1913 bungalow, re-born into a brick oven pizzeria. {the description had me at romantic}. we headed over to the restaurant, which was everything and more that i imagined, the atmosphere, the ambiance...but our server was rude, and clearly didn't like us {what's not to like about us?}, so we were pretty anxious to leave the minute the food had disappeared from our plates. my next plan was to hit up a cute little place for dessert, but to my dismay, it too, was closed for the evening. so now what? we wondered. a movie? nothing showing for another hour and a half to two hours. we ended up deciding to redbox a movie that we had both been wanting to see, and headed home to watch it while we snuggled up in bed together...but after just 30 minutes or so, i was out cold. oh brother, if that isn't the story of my life.
my dear john, i had every intention of making your 32nd birthday special and memorable, but you know that things rarely turn out how i envision and plan, so i apologize if the only thing you end up remembering about this birthday...
is how bad it flopped.
i promise this is not a reflection of the way i feel about you.
i love you more than i can express in words...
and {thankfully} more than my ability to make you feel special on your birthday.

blessed

may 19, 2001

last night while were were waiting for ruby and ava's dance class to finish, we decided to step outside the studio, and let the younger kids play.

we had only been out there a minute or two, when asher tried to pick up his friend emaline {who is taller than he is}, and ended up falling over backwards {little ems still on top of him}, and hitting his head pretty good on the pavement.

i quickly ran over to him, picked him up, and did my best to console him...

but he was completely hysterical.

a few seconds later, his whole body started to convulse, and then he went limp in my arms.

i fell to my knees in the grass, and put him down so that i could see what was happening.

just as i was lowering him onto the lawn, i watched his eyes roll into the back of his head, and then for a split second, he was out.

i screamed to my friend diana, but by the time she ran over, he had come to.

we both inspected the back of his head, but found nothing, and other than the fact that he was still crying pretty hard, everything seemed to be normal.

even though he seemed to be doing fine, john and i decided it would be best to have him sleep in our bed, just so that we could monitor him throughout the night.

of course, ruby wasn't about to be left in their bedroom all alone,

so the party of three in mom and dad's bed, quickly became a party of four.

asher slept next to me - and for a wiggly, squirmy, can't-hold-still-for-more-than-10-seconds-at-a-time, two year old -he did surprising well.

in fact, he stayed in the exact same position the entire night - didn't even shift a mere half of an inch.

quite the contrast from his almost 5 year old sister -who flips and flops, and tosses and turns, and kicks and punches, and squirms and rolls - all night long when she sleeps in our bed.

i woke up early this morning to go for a run, and couldn't help but notice the beauty of the sunlight as it peered through the large bay window and rested upon the faces of my beautiful sleeping family.

how did i ever get so lucky?

actually i prefer to use the term blessed.

because today, i feel very, very blessed.

problem

i have such a problem of starting things...but then never completing them. i can't count the number of unfinished projects and crafts i have sitting out in my garage. i should just haul them off to goodwill {or the trash can} because let's be honest, i'm never going to get around to finishing them.
i just signed into blogger, hoping to write a little something about ruby turning 5 yesterday {still can't believe how fast my baby's growing up} only to discover that i have somewhere around 10 posts from the past couple of weeks that are still sitting in the draft stage. i decided that rather than treating them like all those half-finished craft projects sitting out in my garage, i should just do something about it. so it's decided, tonight i'll be playing a little catch-up...and then maybe tomorrow i'll post something about how my baby girl is growing up in the world.
did i mention that i'm a bit of a procrastinator too?