oh man i'm feeling so ready for this baby to come. it's like the only think i think about...day and night. the past 4 nights i have even dreamt about him. last night i guess the dream wasn't really about him, but i was getting my epidural, and suddenly i awoke, and my back hurt like the dickens in the very spot i would actually be receiving an epidural. it's from this couch i'm telling ya...and not just the couch, but having to sleep sitting up on the couch. it's starting to really wear on me...and especially on my poor back. after that experience last night, i thought hey, maybe i'll move onto the floor and just start sleeping there like john. and then i came to my senses and realized that that would defeat the whole purpose of leaving our beloved bed in the first place, and that was to be able to sleep at a 90 degree angle. if i were to move to the floor...why not just move back to the bed?
so yeah, my back is definitely ready for this baby to come. my belly too. it's seriously about to pop. not only does it look like it's about to pop, but it feels that way too. plus it hangs out of about every shirt that i own. i finally just started calling myself gus gus for fun.
so my back is ready. my belly is ready. i'm sure my children are more than ready. let's just put it this way...i haven't been the most patient of mothers the past few days and weeks. i'm just uncomfortable and irritable, and unfortunately, they're having to bear the brunt of it...poor things. i'm sure they're more than ready to have their "real" mommy back.
the house is ready. as i mentioned before, i've been nesting like crazy and i literally feel like every single thing is done inside this house...and yet, everyday i stay busy...cleaning, and then re-cleaning...organizing, and then re-organizing. it's weird. i mean, is it really necessary to scrub the toilets every day?
i've primmed and primped in every way imaginable. i got my hair did, and my fingers and toes. i've been waxed, and eyelashed. it may seem a bit ridiculous, but there are so many things about your body you can't control during pregnancy, so why not take advantage of a few that you can? plus i had about 5 or 6 groupons that were burning a hole in my pocket, so i figured...hey, what better time to use them than now?
with so many things being ready and in place and lined up for our baby jude to enter the world, you'd think he'd be here already, right? if only it were that easy. i think the one thing that definitely is not ready, is my crazy, indecisive cervix. right now it's so high that the doctors can hardly find it...and when they finally do, it's only barely to a one...on the outside. still completely closed on the inside. it's so weird how we do everything we can to keep these babies from coming too early (like getting stitches in our dang cervixes), but then when it's time, and it's safe and everything is ready (like getting the stitches removed...ouch! by the way) then our sweet babies decide they're not ready to come. too bad jude, ready or not you're coming on monday. that actually gives me 3 more days to scrub toilets, fold linens, steam floors, wash mirrors...or whatever else i feel needs to be done for the umpteenth time.
one thing i know that i'm ready for, and i feel like i've been ready for this for years now, is to finally meet my sweet baby boy. to hold him. to love him. to lay him on my chest and feel his little heart beat against mine. to look into his eyes. to study the lines on his toes and the joints of his perfect little fingers. to kiss the top of his head. and smell his baby soft skin. and then to never, ever, ever let him go.
i have never been more ready. i am so...SO ready for that.