Monday, January 30, 2012

a whole lot of love

dear jude,
today my heart is full. it's full of something called love. now, although i have always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic, i do not claim, by any means, to be an expert on love. i simply wanted to share a beautiful story of love that has affected me (and you, although you may not be aware of it) immensely. first i feel it necessary to mention the greatest display of Love in the history of the world. and that was the love given by our Savior, who came to earth and layed down His own life for us...for His friends. He was perfect in every way, but to submit to the will of the Father and His plan, our Savior died for us. think about that. he willingly died for us to fulfill His Father's plan. love, my dear jude, well, it is a verb. it requires action. love is all about doing, and being, and demonstrating, and sacrificing. today i want to share with you another example of love, which like the Savior's Love (although on a much smaller scale) has altered and transformed me. and that is the Love demonstrated on a daily basis by your very own earthly father - my husband - who just so happens to be the most Christlike person i have ever known. i feel it important to tell you about him, especially because in the short span of a week, you will be meeting him, and then you will also be on the receiving end of his most perfect and pure love.
this pregnancy has not been easy on me, to say the least. i in no way blame you for's just that for some women (i'd say most women), pregnancy is super, super difficult. your father understands this, and has been completely supportive and helpful for the past 9 months. he takes care of cooking (or picking up) all the meals...because it's always around dinner time that i feel the worst. he cleans the house, does laundry, and makes late night runs to satisfy my cravings. when i get sick, he's right there, rubbing my back, and holding the hair out of my face. he's backed out of many church meetings, work trips, outings with friends, sporting events, and other important obligations, to be able to tend to my needs, and be there for me when i felt my head was just barely above water. he tells me he loves the way that i look...even though, at present, i know i resemble a walrus. but you know what? when he says, man, you're beautiful, or dang, i love the way you look when you're pregnant, i really believe him. because your dad also happens to be the most genuine and sincere person i know. almost every night he puts your brother and sister to bed...a task which involves bathing them, helping them brush their teeth, get into their jammies, read scriptures, a bedtime story of their choice, and family prayer...and he singlehandedly does this so that i can have a little break. he rubs my belly with cocoa butter when it itches, he massages my feet when they're swollen, and is nothing but patient with my grumpy and hormonal mood swings. he has never, no not once, uttered a word of complaint. your dad is not a complainer. he puts on a smile, and he gets to work serving, going, doing, and sacrificing...always putting the needs of others above his own. now that, my sweetheart, is true love. this entire pregnancy i have suffered with severe heartburn, but for the past month or two, it has become almost unbearable. i am on two prescription medications for it, and pop the tums like they're going out of style...yet i still can't seem to find any relief. about a month ago, i told your dad that i had decided to start sleeping on the couch to see if it might make a difference. i felt bad having to leave him alone, but i also knew i wouldn't last one more night in our bed. something had to change. so my first night on the couch, i noticed that your dad was setting up a bed as well.

he told me that wherever i sleep, that's where he sleeps too. after about three weeks of sleeping on the couch, his back started to become stiff and extremely sore. i begged him to just go back to our bed, but instead he moved his sleeping bag onto the floor right by me...and that's where he's been ever since. i am constantly in awe of the man that i married. and i wanted to be sure to share a thing or two with you about your father. no doubt as you grow and get older, you will come to this realization on your own. someday you will find yourself a wife, and it's my hope and prayer, that you care for her just as your father has cared for me, and for you, and for your brother and sister. look to him as an example. follow in his footsteps. show love to those around you through your actions; and you, no doubt, will be as happy as your daddy is...because isn't he about the happiest person you know?

finally, i wish to express my undying love for you.
we love you jude...without ever having met you, your father and i love you deeply and immensely. i hope we can demonstrate that love to you all the days of your life, and that you will never ever doubt how special you immeasurably you are cherished and me, by your father, your siblings, your Heavenly Father, your Savior, and hundreds and thousands of others. now that, my dear, is a whole lot of love.

can't wait to meet you, and love on you. just one more week.


kelsey and murray said...

nicole this was so sweet! you and john are such fantastic and admirable people. i can't wait to see pictures of sweet little jude.

Amber cooke said...

You are such a sweet and thoughtful person Nicole! I hope someday I can see you when your in Utah and meet your adorable kids! Much love sent your way from our family for a safe and healthy delivery!