Monday, January 30, 2012


john made me go to bed tonight at 9:35. our whole family has been sick, and so were doing all we can to get this household healthy before our sweet baby boy comes. so rather than wind down to a netflix like we oftentimes do, or stay up til midnight or 1 am organizing drawers and closets, we went to bed. john was out the instant his head hit the pillow, and unfortunately, i wasn't the least bit sleepy. so i lie there in the dark listening to my husband snore softly, the dog snore softly, and the tick tocking of the three or four clocks we have around these parts of the house. that kind of strange silence, well, it's enough to drive a girl crazy. i popped one of my trusted klonopin (anti-anxiety/ sleeping pills), and i'd say within a half hour, i was out...only to wake again 2 hours later. all i could think about when i woke, was wanting to scrub my baseboards. it's 12:25 am..and my only desire is to have clean baseboards. and the funny thing is, they've already been scrubbed...i just wanted to do them again is all. i decided to blog instead. it's seriously so crazy to me...this whole nesting instinct that expectant mothers get. i wasn't sure it was actually going to happen for me this time around. up until about 3 or four weeks ago, i was probably the laziest person on the planet. this pregnancy has literally drained me, and all i've wanted to do for the majority of it, is sleep. i've had no desire to cook or to clean, or even to be crafty or domestic...things i usually enjoy. i don't know if it's my age that's made everything so much harder this go around...i mean i am just a couple months from the big 35, folks. whatever it is...whatever it was, i'm glad it's over, and that i have my energy back. i still feel lousy, don't get me wrong. it hurts to roll over at night. it hurts to walk. i'm huge, and i'm sore, and swollen...and gosh darnit, my whole body aches...but i am so grateful that at least for the time being, i've got my energy back.
it started about 4 saturdays ago. john and i have been gearing up for another garage sale. we usually have one about ever two or three years...and they're always successful - bringing in anywhere from $800 to $2,500. so for the past year i'd say, we've been saving things - things we normally would have gotten rid of - for the sale. and everything we've been collecting, has gone straight to the garage. it got to the point where we just started throwing things out there...and before too long...our poor vehicles no longer had a place to call home. our junk was starting to take over. a few months ago i purchased some clothing racks from a consignment store, and began getting all the kids' clothes ready to sale, but other than that, the garage just looked like a hot mess (for lack of a better description). so about a month ago, on a saturday morning, john and i woke up, and ventured out there together. we had no intention of organizing it, and to be honest, thoughts of preparing for our sale were the furthest from our minds. i think we just went out there to find a tool, or the ladder, or something to complete a project that we had been working on inside. we were both so frustrated that we couldn't even move without tripping over something, or walk without having to step over several things, or find a dang a ginormous ladder, for one. we honestly, had had enought! and it seemed like such a daunting task - tackling that beast to get ready for a garage sale, plus during the past few months, i had started getting rid of some of the nicer things on Craig's list...making somewhere around $3, honestly, even if we had made close to that on the remaining items...those gross, infecting items that were overtaking our beloved garage, it wouldn't have been worth it to me. "let's take it all away" i said, somewhat surprising myself. to which john replied "ok". we raised the garage door....something we haven't done in months for fear of scaring our neighbors right on out of the hood, and began loading up the armada. john lowered all the seats, and we started just piling it all in. he took not one, not two, but three trips to the goodwill that day...and man oh man, did it feel awesome. liberating, in fact. our garage still looked like trash, but it was a good feeling knowing how much we had actually gotten rid of. i think that first saturday, four weeks ago, sparked something in me, and i began going crazy. i started cleaning out closets and drawers, cabinets and cupboards, dressers and toy bins, storage bins and tubs. it was the best feeling. and i wasn't just organizing, i was clearing things out...purging like i've never purged before. and then i started cleaning, and organizing, and repairing things that had been rendered useless for months, and tackling things like the baseboards and blinds (both of which i absolutely loathe). for the next three saturdays, i had heaps and piles of things ready for john to haul away...(those goodwill workers know him on a first name basis, i'm sure)). so far we've taken 8 full loads to the goodwill, and i'm already building a pile for the 9th. the kids' playroom is completely clean and organized...their bedroom too. the house has been scrubbed from top to bottom. our bedroom is no longer the catch all, but actually looks like a real live bedroom (it lacks in the decorating do most the rooms in our house, but at least it's decent and inviting). the baby stuff has been washed, folded, and put away. the crib and changing table are set up. the nursery is painted, all the linens in the house have been washed. the carpets have been professionally cleaned, and i can honestly say that i now know where every single item in the house is...down to the very last screw and safety pin. it's nice to have a place for everything...with everything in it's place. there are still a few things i'd like to get done, but i feel so good about what we've accomplished in the last four weeks, that if baby were to come tomorrow, i'd feel ready. like we would be bringing him home...and not to just any home, but to a clean and organized home...a haven...where he would feel welcomed and loved...(and i'd never have the fear of losing him in a pile of junk). but dear baby...dear sweet baby, don't come tomorrow, ok? i keep thinking i need to redo those i have a load or two of wash i'd like to catch up on. just at least give me another day, will ya? better yet, let's just wait til your scheduled induction date of feb. 6th...that gives me a whole week to tie up those few loose ends. does that sound like a deal?
and by the way, i can't wait to meet you. i think you're really gonna like it here. it's 2 am now, and i think we had better get some rest, don't you? goodnight, my little bird.
love, your crazy nesting mother.

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