Tuesday, January 10, 2012

still learning a thing or two from mom...

just a few days ago i blogged about ruby and her unruly behavior the morning she was supposed to dress up for her school's "team day".
writing about that really got me thinking about my little ruby and the struggles that we've been having pretty much on a daily basis.
she has always been such an easy child.
a contented and lively baby.
a happy and good-natured toddler.
she's never given us a moment's grief.
she loves to snuggle and give kisses...to smile and laugh.
she loves people and people love her.
she makes everyone around her feel special.
in fact, everywhere we go, and in everything she does, people are drawn to her...
and it's always been that way (remember, this is my blog, so i totally have bragging rights).
i volunteered to help in her class yesterday, and was talking with her teacher while all the children went out to recess.
she told me about how sweet and kind ruby is at school, how all her classmates adore her, and how the entire faculty and staff love her, too.
she said that being cute will only get you so far, but that ruby's also kind and helpful,
considerate and friendly.
it made me feel good to hear her teacher say those things about her.
of course, i feel that way about her....i'm her mother, and i have always have felt that there is something uniquely special about her.
she's my precious little gem - my ruby.
i like to think that Heavenly father blessed us with this perfect little jewel after he took our isaac home.
she's like my shining ray of sunshine after a terrible, terrible storm.
i share all of this only because it baffles my mind as to why the two of us have been having so many stormy mornings together as of late.
and, sadly, it has everything to do with what she wants (or doesn't want) to wear.
dumb. huh?
i haven't ever been the type of mom to force her to wear something;
it's just that, up until now, she has always been happy about my suggestions,
and only on occasion has she deviated from what i have given her to wear.
and, to be honest, that has never bothered me.
i actually think it's cute from time to time, to see what she comes up with,
and what, according to her, makes her look and feel the most beautiful.
to illustrate my point (about her compliance and even excitement with regard to my clothing selections for her),
i posted 10 pictures.
these were taken back at the beginning of the school year when the children were asked to wear a specific color (varying each day) for two weeks.
we (i) had to get pretty creative with several of the outfits (as you can tell from the photos) to be able to comply and participate in the suggested activity. but each day, she was up for putting on anything, and i mean anything i handed her to wear (as ridiculous as it was),
and even left the house each morning with a smile on her face.
it's amazing to me how drastically things have changed just in the last few months.
she now hates leggings, jeggings, skinny jeans, skirts, dresses, cardigans, headbands, hair bows, sandals, dressy flats, boots...anything with lace or ruffles...and the list goes on and on.
maybe it would be easier, rather than listing the things she hates, to tell you what she loves.
she loves t-shirts, saggy baggy-bum jeans, and keds.
she loves her hair straight (and when her hair is straight, it just looks stringy and unkempt), or pulled back into a messy ponytail, or sectioned off in the front so she can do one of her fancy twists
(or braids, as she likes to call them).
yes, she is already into fixing her own hair, too.
i feel like she she has completely lost her adorable and unique sense of style
(or maybe it was just my adorable and unique sense of style).
gone are the days that i could lay out a pair of blue skinny jeans, paired with a coral and cream stripped tank (with a giant gold sequin anchor on the front - i might add), a patterned cardi, and a pair of suede moccasin boots,
and see her face light up while she would dress herself in the mornings.
now, even the mere suggestion that she wear something like that, causes her to burst into tears.
and then there was yesterday.
such a heartbreaking day for me.
i have finally begun nesting (and i'm so thrilled about it because i wondered if i might skip this stage altogether with this pregnancy...up until about a week ago, i just wasn't feeling it),
and ruby and i were going through her closet and dresser.
i decided why torture her any longer? if she's not going to wear this stuff, then it best not be taking up precious space...
space which we just plain don't have in this house.
sadly, and by her own choice, we pretty much got rid of everything.
broke my heart.
some of the things she had only worn once, and a few not even at all.
she also got rid of some of her new christmas clothes,
which she promised me she loved, and would totally wear...then went ahead and pulled off and threw away the tags,
only to have one look in the mirror, and decide they weren't her style after all.
i could tell she was trying to make me happy by holding on to certain things, despite her disdain for said items.
for example, i would hold up a shirt or a skirt, and she would look at it, cringe, and then say,
well, i guess i could keep it...it would be something i could wear on valentine's day maybe? because it's red?
well, i think i'll hang on to those leggings because i could wear them next time i have a singing performance (which isn't until may),
maybe that would be something cute for st. patrick's day?
my favorite was when i held up a pair of army green military style shorts (my very favorite of all her shorts),
and she said...
ok, i'll save those, but only for when i go hunting.
i was dying.
anyone who knows us, knows that we're not hunters...like even at all.
i wouldn't even call ourselves campers, or outdoors men of any sort.
just picturing my 5 year old, clad in army green shorts, tip-toeing through the forest with a 12 gauge semi-auto shot gun strapped across her shoulder...makes me laugh.
save the shorts for when i go hunting...oh ruby.
well, i guess at least she'd be a stylin' huntress...
rather than the picky kindergartner she has become.
brown day...pink and grey day
red day...yellow day
purple day...rainbow day
black and white day...green day

blue day...orange day

see how happy she is in these photos? yeah well, now she wouldn't be caught dead in any of these outfits (and to be honest, i can't say that i blame her on a few of them...like i said, we had to stretch our creativity pretty good on some of these)...
and even if she had a change of heart, it wouldn't matter, because as of yesterday, i don't think she she even owns anything you see pictured above
(well except for maybe the green outfit...she's saving that one special for st patrick's day).
i know i've done a lot of venting in this post.
truth is, this is really our only issue at present...
and if i can just let go of my pride and allow her to be uniquely her,
well, i just know we'll both be so much happier.
plus i have to remind myself that in 7th grade, i had rats nest bangs that stood stiff as a board and 7 feet in the air...
and my mom never said a word about it (at least to me).
in hindsight, i wish that she had.
but my point is, she bit her tounge, and let me be me.
i guess i still have a thing or two i could learn from my mother.
even after being gone 14 years, she still has an influence on me.
i'm so grateful for that, she was such a gem of a woman (a lot like my gem of a daughter) -
whom everyone absolutely loved and adored -
and i highly doubt her wardrobe had very much (if anything) to do with that.
i mean, my mom was the queen of culottes (when culotte's were anything but cool),
yet she was still highly respected and revered.
and i don't know a soul who didn't absolutely adore her...
culottes and all.


Me said...

Ya--may be time to let her just choose her own clothes. My sister folds her older daughter's outfits together--so she at least knows what "matches"--but both she and the 5 year old boy basically choose their own clothes now. May be good to ask a little why (if she's willing to tell you). Like, my nephew and niece don't love jeans cause they're uncomfortable (I hate jeans too) and both my nieces can't stand anything "scratchy"--so we take great care to make sure the tights are now made out of cotton (not nylon which they find more scratchy) their dresses are lined, and so forth. I think kids go through clothing stages too. Like my niece right now (9) is really into turtle necks. My sisters and I can't stand turtle necks--but she LOVES them. My nephew went through a stage where he wanted to wear the same outfits day after day. Ya--that one was a tougher one (gotta wash them sometime bud!)The 3 year old hates dresses--so that's a fun argument. But--most of the time their "phases" only last for a certain amount of time. It does not mean she won't become more interested in more fashionable clothing later. Luckily, we still don't have those horrible sky-high bangs! So, hopefully at some point she won't be so dead set on T-shirts and so forth :)

Me said...

Sorry--that above is from me, Mary P.

proudmomma said...

Your mom did let you guys be whom ever you wanted and look how wonderful ALL her kids turned out. I remember seeing a picture of my son Wes' 9th grade graduation class, and there is your brother Aaron on the top row smiling with his two front teeth blacked out! I love your family

Jess and Matt said...

oh my gosh, I totally laughed at the hunting comment. That is hilarious! I am emerging from the same struggle with Kaden. He only wanted to wear "cozy pants" and t-shirts for about a year. He is finally realizing that maybe there are other options. I can't imagine having a little girl though. It would be especially hard when you have fashion sense and such fun ideas about dressing your own little doll and she won't have it! Good luck :)...you are the BEST mom.

Hello my Name is Rachel... said...

This makes me so sad! I always love Rubes cute little outfits!!! Next time I see her, she's gonna look like a dude! ha ha jk :) I remember hating the hairdos mom would do on me when I was young. It breaks my heart to think about it now but I just remember bawling my eyes out all the time about how she would style my do

Tara said...

Ashley and I used to argue over her clothes in kindergarten too, but eventually I gave up and realized she knew what she liked and so I just helped her on those really bad matching days :) I have been almost the opposite with Nicole (who has such a different personality than Ashley) and now Nicole is asking me to pick out her outfits for school. Sometimes Ashley wants me to pick out her clothes and when I do, she won't like it, so I tell her she has to pick it out then. haha So much fun. I have felt your pain, but it gets better.

Scarlett said...

Oh man. My daughter is in Kindergarten, too, and I am dreading the day when she doesn't let me pick out her outfits. I know it's going to come eventually, but until then, I will treasure everyday that she lets me pick out what she is going to where.