Tuesday, May 3, 2011

a tale of the 3'2" bandit

one upon a time there was a sly little boy named asher.
he had quite a talent for sneaking into things and making off with stuff {many times from hard to reach places} without his mother's knowledge.
and then he would run and hide and enjoy, in secret, whatever it was he had taken.
sometimes it was food from the cupboards.
sometimes it was lipstick from his mommy's purse, or gum from his daddy's valet.
on more than one occasion it was a knife from the kitchen.
many times it was something belonging to his sister.
more often than not, it was something held in high regard, or something very dangerous.
this clever little boy had many hiding places.
his favorite, being underneath the table in his playroom.
his mother would find him in all sorts of spots though, sometimes crouched beneath the kitchen table, other times wrapped up inside a blanket.
asher figured that if he couldn't see his mother, then naturally, she wouldn't be able to see him either.
one day his mother noticed that the hidden bag of easter candy had gone missing.
having a pretty good idea that her little asher was the culprit, she set out to find him.
she didn't have much luck as she checked his usual hiding spots,
but then she heard a crinkle and a crackle coming from her bedroom.
she was very familiar with that sound, and immediately knew that her sneaky little asher was unwrapping some candy.
asher, where are you? she called out, as she headed down the hallway and into her bedroom.
she stopped just in time to hear two little feet scurrying hastily away from her.
she followed the sound around the corner and into the master bathroom,
where she found this...

she continued calling out,
asher, where are you?
she ran to get her camera, but still continued calling his name.
ruby, do you know where asher is?
silently, she motioned for ruby to follow her back into the bathroom.
they did their best to suppress their laughter, but it wasn't easy.
seeing the boy wrapped up in a shower curtain, with his two little feet poking out the bottom, was beyond humorous.
asher's mother and sister stood in the bathroom and resumed discussing his whereabouts.
meanwhile asher was motionless;
and aside from the occasional crinkle and crackle of candy wrappers which could be heard from inside the rolled shower curtain, he was silent.
mother told ruby to take a look inside the curtain to see if by chance asher might be hiding there. asher's two feet began to shuffle.
it was evident: he knew he was about to be discovered.
aha! his sister shouted, as she pulled away the first layer of curtain.

knowing that he was just moments from apprehension, he clung to that shower curtain as if his very life depended on it.

the only thing separating ruby and her mother from the 3'2" bandit,
was a piece of water resistant cloth;
and as ruby grabbed a hold of it, then briskly and fearlessly yanked it away,
a bewailing howl, a lamentation like nothing they had ever heard,
pierced them {and their eardrums} to the very core.
and there he stood {nothing like being caught red-handed} holding a bag of easter candy behind his back...
while his mother and sister laughed and laughed.

asher then dropped the bag of candy, and being the tender sweetheart that he is, he fell into the arms of his sister {who just moments prior had been laughing and mocking him} seeking solace and consolation.

and they got along happily ever after {or at least for the next hour or two}.

the end.


natalie eve said...

i LOVE this.

this could totally be a children's book.

you write it, i'll illustrate it!

and yes. GNO, SOON!!!

Rania said...

Oh sweet Asher. I love it!

Jackie said...

This is just tooooo cute! And you have it captured on film for when they're older. What wonderful memories!

Rachel said...

Oh that is so adorable!!! I love the picture of his two little feet!

Anonymous said...

I want you to write me a book...I love reading your stories...I am supposed to be working, but I have spent the last 3 hrs reading your blog entries!
Amber Dall-Cooke