my everything

I'm still going through all of our Christmas photos. I'm telling you, I took a ton. And over an hour's worth of video, too. I'm probably never going to do anything with most of it, which makes me sad, but I just had to at least post these two. I love these pictures. I can't even explain how excited the kids were about Christmas, so I'll let these pictures do all the talking. Seriously, have you ever seen two kids more excited about Christmas? I loved being the mom this year, and being able to just sit back and watch my children discover the magic of the season.
I'll be honest, I'm a little sad it's all over with. It's been hard being back. I've done my best the past couple of days to take the decorations down, unpack all of our suitcases, and jump back into the reality of life...and schedules...and responsibilities. I knew it would be hard, it always is, but man, this year has thrown me for a loop. I'm hoping by at least next week, things will pretty much be back to normal. I have yet to cook a meal since we've been home. Yikes.

Tonight I was lying down with the kids listening to some lullabies. The room was dark and silent, except for the soothing music playing faintly in the background. We were all snuggled in Ruby's twin bed. The moment felt perfect. And then I heard a sniffle...

Ruby: Mom, what ever happened to baby Isaac?
Me: Well, he died, remember? I've told you about it before. We buried his body deep in the ground, and his spirit went on to live with Heavenly Father.
Ruby: (crying pretty hard at this point) That is so sad that you guys did that.
Me: Did what?
Ruby: Put him in the ground. Is he all covered in dirt?
Me: No, we put his body in a special box, called a casket.
Ruby: So is he all alone in the ground?
Me: No, not exactly. We put his casket right on top of my mommy's casket, remember? I've told you all about your grandma Pitts, too. So both of their bodies, and their spirits, are together now.
Ruby: So do they have enough room to move around in the ground?
Me: Well, they don't really move around at all, sweetheart. They're bodies are taking a long sleep, until the resurrection, when their spirits and bodies will be able to come together again.
Ruby: So will we get to have Isaac again?
Me: Of course we will.
Ruby: (still crying) But mom, we don't even have any clothes for him, and not even a bed for him to sleep in. This makes me so sad.

Our conversation continued for awhile. I did my best to explain everything to her. But how can you really help a 4 year old comprehend something like that? It was the saddest thing. Her poor little heart was broken. And then mine was too.

I just lay there and held both my kids so tight. And suddenly my problems seemed so insignificant. Who cares if I still have some of my Christmas things up? What does it matter if our suitcases aren't completely unpacked? A cluttered house? Not important. I just lay there in the moment and thought about how these two precious little ones, well...
how they're my everything.