Thursday, October 29, 2009

just a little white lie?...

Or a Deep. Dark. Chocolate one?

I baked a cake today. As soon as it was finished, I pulled it from the oven, and then placed it on the stove top to cool. I left the room, sifted through some unread emails, and returned 10 minutes later, to this...

"Ruby, come here!"
"Yes, mom?"
"Did you do this to my cake?"
" mom, I didn't."
"Oh really? Are you sure about that?"
"Come here, Ruby, let me check your mouth."
She opens wide and exposes a mouth and teeth...full of chocolate.
"Ruby, your teeth have chocolate in them. Did you get into mommy's cake?"
"No, mom. It was Asher."
"Then why is the chocolate only in your teeth, and not Asher's?"
"Ummm...because I ate something brown...But I didn't have any cake."
"Ruby, I'm not mad. I just want you to tell mom the truth. Hold my hands and look into mommy's eyes. Ruby, did you taste some of mommy's cake?"
I leave the room, throwing my hands in the air.
A few minutes later she walks into the kitchen as I'm making dinner...and I completely catch her off guard.
"Ruby, was the chocolate cake yummy or gross?"
"It was so yummy, mom, can I have some more?"

Looks like it's about time to dust off (and put into practise, or course) those lessons in honesty at our home.


It wasn't until we were actually out, and running our errands, that I noticed baby and I were dressed the same...

I am just amazed by the love I feel for this special little boy. For the longest time, starting even before he was born, I had been so consumed with trying to get pregnant, that I'm afraid I didn't allow myself to completely enjoy my circumstances, my blessings, and my life the way that I should have. Most recently though, I have taken a step back. Something miraculous has happened. A peace has entered my heart and soul...something that I haven't felt for some time now. I have begun to finally understand and embrace my own nothingness. My life is in the hands of an All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Supreme Being, even God our Father. I know that He is mindful of little, insignificant me. His plan is perfect, His Love is unsurpassed, and His timing is impeccable. It's a beautiful blessing to be able to receive direction from him, and to then to be able to fully and completely submit my will to His. It's liberating to know that all we have to do is our small and simple part...and He will always take care of the rest. My heart no longer aches over my empty womb...rather, I feel liberated. I can honestly say, that I am finally at peace with my situation. I am in no hurry. My babies are still babies. And I love that I am now able to fully and completely love and enjoy this time with them...this time that will pass all too quickly...this time that will one day, be nothing more than a distant memory.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

fall is in the air...

I think it's pretty safe to say that, Christmas aside, Halloween is my favorite. I love the decorations, and the goodies, and the colors, and the smells. I love to carve pumpkins and eat roasted seeds. I love hot apple cider, and autumn leaves,and the cool crisp halloween air (so maybe today's high of 60 is a bit too cool and crisp for me). The other night as we were out on our family walk, Ruby announced that she was "tired of Halloween and ready for Christmas". I couldn't believe my ears. Oh miss Ruby, you just wait, our Halloween fun...has only just begun...muahahahahahaha.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

a sweet deal...for a sweet girl

They were selling old costumes at Ruby's dance studio for only 5 dollars a piece. None of them had ever been worn...just ordered, and for one reason or another, never used. I wish I would have stocked up...after it dawned on me that Ruby might actually LOVE to have some of these for "dress ups", they were pretty picked over. I did manage to grab a couple in her size, however. She calls them her Snow White and Belle dresses, and begs me to wear them every second of the day.

She is such a princess.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

did you know...

that today is National Walk to School Day? Well lucky for Ruby, she gets to walk to school every day. In fact, one of the highlights of my day is bidding farewell to my husband and daughter before he walks her to school each morning. I stand at the front door and watch as they stroll, hand in hand, down the street and around the corner. Back and forth we take turns shouting "I love you", over and over...until finally, the two of them have disappeared from my view. Without exception, this is the precise moment in which a brief pang of despondency slices through my heart...