Thursday, October 29, 2009

twinners...

It wasn't until we were actually out, and running our errands, that I noticed baby and I were dressed the same...




I am just amazed by the love I feel for this special little boy. For the longest time, starting even before he was born, I had been so consumed with trying to get pregnant, that I'm afraid I didn't allow myself to completely enjoy my circumstances, my blessings, and my life the way that I should have. Most recently though, I have taken a step back. Something miraculous has happened. A peace has entered my heart and soul...something that I haven't felt for some time now. I have begun to finally understand and embrace my weakness...my own nothingness. My life is in the hands of an All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Supreme Being, even God our Father. I know that He is mindful of little, insignificant me. His plan is perfect, His Love is unsurpassed, and His timing is impeccable. It's a beautiful blessing to be able to receive direction from him, and to then to be able to fully and completely submit my will to His. It's liberating to know that all we have to do is our small and simple part...and He will always take care of the rest. My heart no longer aches over my empty womb...rather, I feel liberated. I can honestly say, that I am finally at peace with my situation. I am in no hurry. My babies are still babies. And I love that I am now able to fully and completely love and enjoy this time with them...this time that will pass all too quickly...this time that will one day, be nothing more than a distant memory.

4 comments:

natalie eve said...

emmi and i are often dressed the same too... and yes, you don't realize it until you are out the door. cody and i almost always coordinate on sundays... obviously not by planning, great minds must think alike.

i'm so glad asher is over his flu.

and i'm so happy that you are finally at peace. His timing truly is perfect. the hard part is remembering that. i've been trying really hard to focus on 'not my will but Thine be done' and it really does bring you peace. it has helped me stop worrying and fretting over ever little thing.

it was so fun to finally see you the other night. i had to stop seeing you all cold turkey. haha.

Kat and Steve said...

Can't believe how big he is! It's crazy to see him smiling with a mouth full of teeth. You're right, they grow too fast. It's easy to get caught up in life and forget to enjoy them while they're so young and precious. I'm glad you have made peace with your situation. Not an easy thing, I'm sure. Thank you for your example and faith!

Amy Eagleston said...

Cute pics and beautiful sentiment!

diana said...

ava has a jacket that would go with the both of you perfectly... i'll send her over for a photo shoot, hahaha.


i love to hear these words from you, (er, i mean read these words). i'm so glad you have found peace, and are soaking up life as it is now. i often have to pause and remind myself to do the same.

love you, nicole!