peace defeats my anguish...

I'm sitting in the back seat of the car, gripping my baby's icy little hands, as John - fingers gripping the cold, hard wheel - races us to the emergency room. Blood is pouring from her left (once flawless) snow white porcelain cheek. I'm more hysterical than she is as I peer closely into her mangled skin. Amidst the outpouring of blood I see that her bottom lip is torn and drooping downward...now resting on her quivering chin. I see the holes in her face and I'm haunted by the cogitation that my beautiful little daughter will never look the same again. All I want to do is call my dad. (The first thing I ever want to do when staring in adversity's face... is to call my dad.) He knows just what to say, and how to say it, and always says it just when I need to hear it the most. You've got to remain calm, Nicole. For yourself and for John, but especially for your sweet little Ruby...you must remain calm. He is so soft spoken. His words soothe me. I take control of my emotions. I take a few long deep breaths...and I stop crying. I feel at peace. Just hearing his voice puts me at ease.
It's a long night. It's one AM, and we're finally pulling into the driveway that leads to a safe and peaceful refuge...home sweet home. We gently lie our brave (and now reposed) little gem in her mom and dad's over sized bed. We kneel down beside her and thank our Heavenly Father for his multitude of tender mercies over us. We arise from our knees, and an overwhelming feeling of peace encompasses the both of us.
My tired eyes glance toward the nightstand, and finally focus on the thin red object that rests upon the table's hard smooth surface. It's my phone. The same thin red phone that was (understandably - amid the calamity and consternation of our evening's misfortune), forgotten at home. I have new messages. Eight new messages. One from each member of my family. I listen to them all and my heart swells with gratitude and love for each beloved family member. What would I do without these individuals in my life? They are true friends and true confidants. They are my support and my strength during life's joys, as well as amidst life's less-than-joyous moments. I feel peace as I listen to their words of comfort, encouragement, concern, and genuine love. The first message I hear is from my brother, Aaron. I listen to his gentle assurances as he explains Ruby's advantage of being so young; and that consequentially, she has a greater regenerative capacity. The spirit whispers the truthfulness of his words to my troubled soul...and once again, I am at peace.
The morning sun peers through the curtain drawn windows, announcing it's annihilation over the long, dark, and restless night. We have an appointment with the plastic surgeon today. He examines her distressed marked exterior, and then assures us that she will heal just perfectly. Children are resilient, he says, and within a year's time, I'm confident that her face won't even bear the slightest indication of this incident. Peace. I feel peace. Looking at her torn and jagged flesh, I don't understand how it could possible be, but, once again, peace defeats my anguish; and I have no doubt that my beautiful little baby will grow into a beautiful little girl, and then one day become a beautiful little lady.

It's now been three weeks, and as I watch her face regenerate and her wounds heal, I feel as calm and as peaceful as ever before.

I wanted to share these pictures so as to note her progress to date...


day 1


day 2


day 3


day 4


day 5


a week and 1/2


three weeks (yesterday)

Doesn't she just look amazing? Is it any wonder that I should feel as calm and as peaceful as I do...?