we're expecting...

No. I'm not pregnant. But John and I are expecting (as in looking forward to and anticipating), the arrival of our next child...one that will come to us through much sacrifice, selflessness, love, faith, and revelation...through the process of adoption. Whether this child is a boy or girl...we know not. We're unsure of where our child will be born, nor do we know when, but we dream about what a glorious event it will be. The day that we will be blessed to meet our baby for the very first time. To us, the fact that we could not conceive this child, is completely irrelevant. For the moment the Lord revealed to us that we were to adopt, everything felt so right. Sure I was terrified. In the beginning, I was doubtful. I had some legitimate concerns. Are we financially prepared for the costs involved? Are we emotionally prepared to meet the demands of an adoption? Would this mean I'd never be able to have more biological children? Would I love this baby as much as one of my own? I think of all my concerns, the one that haunted me the most was the last-mentioned...would I love this child as my own? I remember falling to my knees, in tears, and pleading with my Father. I told him that I was willing to do anything he asked of me, but that I would hate going through life feeling like I loved one child more than another. It was then that the Lord blessed me with the most beautiful experience in which I had no doubt about my ability to love another child every bit as much as I loved my own. In that moment, I was completely enveloped in His love. The fears and doubts were immediately dispelled. We have no doubt that this spirit is ours, will be ours forever, and was always meant to be a part of our family. I'm only just now beginning to understand that it doesn't matter how this baby gets to us...whether it be by our own doing, or through the sacrifice of another mother, it's the same. The Lord has a plan for families, and I believe certain spirits are sent to certain homes and families for a reason. I feel honored to be a mother to another of the Lord's choicest, most valiant spirits, and pray that I will receive strength from on high as each one enters our home...whichever way they enter.

We feel strongly that there is a particular spirit that the Lord wants us to have. We have done everything in our power to remain close to the spirit so that we can be worthy to receive revelation through this process. We have been amazed by the miracles which have taken place thus far, and know that we are doing the will of our Heavenly Father. My only desire is to do His will.

Please help us in the search for our baby. If you know of anyone that is considering placing their baby for adoption, please feel free to tell them about us. I know that the Lord blesses those who demonstrate their faith through their works. For this reason, we have committed to be proactive in our search, and would love any and all the help we can get.

For anyone who may be interested, click here to access our web page through LDS Family Services, or follow these steps...

1) go to ldsfamilyservices.com
2) click on Birthparents
3) click on search adoption profiles
4) in the adoptive profile name box, enter JohnAndNicole (exactly as shown) and then hit view profile.
5) if you'd like to view other profiles, just leave the adoptive profile name box empty, and click view profile.