we're expecting...

No. I'm not pregnant. But John and I are expecting (as in looking forward to and anticipating), the arrival of our next child...one that will come to us through much sacrifice, selflessness, love, faith, and revelation...through the process of adoption. Whether this child is a boy or girl...we know not. We're unsure of where our child will be born, nor do we know when, but we dream about what a glorious event it will be. The day that we will be blessed to meet our baby for the very first time. To us, the fact that we could not conceive this child, is completely irrelevant. For the moment the Lord revealed to us that we were to adopt, everything felt so right. Sure I was terrified. In the beginning, I was doubtful. I had some legitimate concerns. Are we financially prepared for the costs involved? Are we emotionally prepared to meet the demands of an adoption? Would this mean I'd never be able to have more biological children? Would I love this baby as much as one of my own? I think of all my concerns, the one that haunted me the most was the last-mentioned...would I love this child as my own? I remember falling to my knees, in tears, and pleading with my Father. I told him that I was willing to do anything he asked of me, but that I would hate going through life feeling like I loved one child more than another. It was then that the Lord blessed me with the most beautiful experience in which I had no doubt about my ability to love another child every bit as much as I loved my own. In that moment, I was completely enveloped in His love. The fears and doubts were immediately dispelled. We have no doubt that this spirit is ours, will be ours forever, and was always meant to be a part of our family. I'm only just now beginning to understand that it doesn't matter how this baby gets to us...whether it be by our own doing, or through the sacrifice of another mother, it's the same. The Lord has a plan for families, and I believe certain spirits are sent to certain homes and families for a reason. I feel honored to be a mother to another of the Lord's choicest, most valiant spirits, and pray that I will receive strength from on high as each one enters our home...whichever way they enter.

We feel strongly that there is a particular spirit that the Lord wants us to have. We have done everything in our power to remain close to the spirit so that we can be worthy to receive revelation through this process. We have been amazed by the miracles which have taken place thus far, and know that we are doing the will of our Heavenly Father. My only desire is to do His will.

Please help us in the search for our baby. If you know of anyone that is considering placing their baby for adoption, please feel free to tell them about us. I know that the Lord blesses those who demonstrate their faith through their works. For this reason, we have committed to be proactive in our search, and would love any and all the help we can get.

For anyone who may be interested, click here to access our web page through LDS Family Services, or follow these steps...

1) go to ldsfamilyservices.com
2) click on Birthparents
3) click on search adoption profiles
4) in the adoptive profile name box, enter JohnAndNicole (exactly as shown) and then hit view profile.
5) if you'd like to view other profiles, just leave the adoptive profile name box empty, and click view profile.

she melts my heart...

I mean seriously, doesn't that face melt your heart too?

Today she threw my phone into the toilet. She totally did it on purpose and to spite me because I was trying to take it away from her. I just get tired of her calling random people in my phone book, most of whom I never talk to or haven't heard from in years. So after asking her nicely to hand it over, and not getting any cooperation on her end, I decided to take matters into my own hands. But she being quicker than I, escaped into the bathroom, and maliciously threw my phone into the toilet, right before my very eyes. Oh, I was so mad. I mean I was livid. I yelled at her. "NO!...WHY WOULD YOU THROW MOMMY'S PHONE INTO THE YUCKY POO POO TOILET?...NO, NO!" Her mouth began to pucker, her lips began to quiver - you know that look right at the onset of a major break down? Then she did something sort of unexpected. She immediately threw her arms tight around my legs and said (in the most irresistable little voice), "Oh, momma". But I resisted. In fact I was still so mad I had to leave the room...and I left her in it. She immediately burst into tears and ran after me. I turned around to see her arms outstretched to me, and desperately sobbing "wub you, momma...wub you...wub you...wub you, momma".
The very first time to tell me she loved me, without any persuasion on my part...

And that, my friends, is the story...of how she melted my heart.

picking my battles...

We've all heard the adage pick your battles. For me, it was given as a bit of marital advice from a dear friend at a bridal shower. However, since John and I rarely even so much as argue, I haven't (until now) had much use for it. It's a wise proverb though, and one I had planned on keeping close at hand, and referring to often during Ruby's years of adolescence...ha ha. Little did I know that she would come pre-packaged possessing a significant amount of defiance, and that this little personality trait would manifest itself almost immediately upon her exiting my womb. Ah, my little Ruby girl. My little audacious, mutinous, resistant, and sassy little Ruby girl.
As I've previously stated, Ruby loves my shoes. And notwithstanding the fact that they weigh three times as much as mine, she loves her daddy's shoes, too. She has recently taken a liking to flip flops, and even surprises us by putting them on properly...strap between the first and second toes. But above all else, she loves my heels...pumps, stilettos, wedges - you name it - anything that makes a clip-clop. If ever she has "disappeared" within the walls of our own house, I can almost always count on finding her inside my closet, exploring amongst all the shoes. (A true girl, I must say...and one with great taste, too.) So anyway, the other day I was trying to get her to remove my shoes from her feet and replace them with hers so that we could go run some errands. This is where her defiant little personality - the one that I previously mentioned - comes in to play. To say it simply...she threw a fit. The harder I tried to pry them from her feet, the louder she wailed, and the deeper her little red face became...until I thought it would pop like a cherry tomato. It was now my time to decide if this was really worth the battle...and I decided that it wasn't...and so off we went. A mother, and her 20 month old baby - both wearing ladies shoes, size 7.5 - both feeling rather triumphant and victorious. Me, because I relinquished the conflict, and her, well because she feels like a princess in mom's shoes. She got lots of smiles from strangers as she clip-clopped through Kinko's, and then into Barnes & Noble. Lots of smiles, and lots of laughs, and plenty of praise through flattering words such as "oh my, what a pretty little girl", and "oh, wow, so grown up in such pretty shoes". One couple even stopped to ask if they could take a picture of her. She was loving it. And I loved watching her parade through the stores and parking lots as if she owned them all...

No, definitely not "battle" worthy at all.

¡feliz día de san valentín!

I just remembered something pretty funny, and, in honor of this holiday, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share my experience. It happened on this very day...8 years ago. I was serving in Burzaco, my first area, which is part of the province of Buenos Aires. My companion and I arose early to make special Valentine's bookmarks for everyone that we would be visiting throughout the day. Included on each bookmark was the scripture found in John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. We had prepared a special message about the ultimate act of love, which of course is the Atonement of our Savior. We were anxious and excited to go out and spread this message of love and to give away our special commemorative bookmarks. We noticed that throughout the day, we were getting some pretty strange looks, a few weird remarks, some scoffs...but continued spreading our message, passing out our bookmarks, and wishing everyone in sight a "¡Feliz día de san Valentín!". Well, it wasn't until the very end of the day, and during our very last appointment, that Hermano Rierra, a member of the ward, informed us that Valentine's Day is not typically observed in Argentina, and when it is, it is only done so intimately between lovers and in more of a "sexual" respect. Ah ha, no wonder people thought we were crazy. Who in their right mind would share a message of the Savior's love and sacrifice in connection with a passionate and erotic saint's day? Only a couple of dumb gringa missionaries, I guess!
Well, being that I'm now back in the US, I think it's safe to wish everyone a "Happy Valentine's Day", without implying that I want to have physical relations with you!

hahahaha....

the most fun in a long time

Friday night John and I celebrated Valentine's Day. We're going to be watching our nieces and nephews the 14-17 so we decided to knock it out early this year. We've never been real big about trying to fight the v-day crowds and then having to wait for two hours to get our dinner...so we typically do our Valentine's Day dates either before or after the big day.
So we went to see the U23D movie, which, by the way, is the very first live-action film to be shot, edited, and shown entirely in 3D. I've seen U2 live in concert 4 times (including this very tour), and I must admit that the film came pretty close to the real thing. It was phenomenal. At times I even forgot that we were in a movie theatre and almost belted out the words to some of the songs...and it was all I could do to refrain from jumping up and joining in the crowd's excitement. And what added even more to my joy and elation was to discover that it was filmed in Buenos Aires!
Seriously, what could be better than a night out with my very favorite person, watching my very favorite band, in one of my very favorite places in this big vast universe?
It just doesn't get much better than this.



It was no secret to the people I served in Buenos Aires that my favorite band was U2. It was a common question asked by many, and I was always proud to provide my answer.

Here is a picture that 17 year old, Matias (my very first baptism), drew for me after learning about my love for U2. I can't really explain why he included James Hetfield in the drawing? Must have been one of his favorites...



And after 18 year old, Sebastian, learned of my passion for the said band, he gifted me this photo...


Sebastian and Larry Mullen JR (U2's drummer)


It was serioulsy the most fun we've had in a long time, and I'm grateful to my Valentine for making it happen.
Love you John...and Happy (early) Valentine's Day!

chefs ava and ruby...

It's been so fun for me to watch the transformation that has taken place in Ruby. A few months back, she couldn't have cared less about having friends. We have had several opportunities to watch different girls around Ruby's age, but it hasn't been until recently that she has become very fond of the idea of having a playmate...other than herself.

Today we had Ruby's friend Ava over while her mom went to a Dr. appointment. Ruby and Ava developed a cute little friendship a couple of weeks ago when Ruby went over to their house to play. Ever Since then, Ruby's face literally lights up whenever she sees Ava...even if it's just through a picture displayed on her mom's blog.

Today the two of them helped me bake cookies...



And watched some Baby Signing Time...


(look at both of them fully enthralled...each with a finger in her mouth)

They even helped me clean up in the kitchen afterwards...

Ava came over for a second time today with her parents, and as they were leaving, Ruby threw one of the worst tantrums I've ever witnessed. She was completely inconsolable for a good 10 to 15 minutes.

Well anyway, I think it's safe to say that Ruby loves her little friends.

oh yeah, and one more thing...

I hate to appear to be obsessed with this potty training thing...and I promise that my next post will be completetly dissasociated from the issue, but I failed to mention Ruby's fixation with the flusher. She sure isn't interested in going in the potty, but she will never pass up an opportunity to flush the toilet, exclaiming "bye bye poop" as the water whirls and twirls in a tornado fashion until finally it's out of sight.
And then she flushes again...and again...and again.

adventures in potty training...

So we're not really completely serious about this potty training thing yet. And I'm totally okay with that. I know she's still pretty young, so we're in no hurry. Just testing the waters is all. She's gone number two twice now, which makes me oh so proud; but still, I don't think she's really grasping the concept.

All she really wants to do is sit and play with the toilet paper...





or exert strenuous grunting sounds coupled with arduous facial expressions...



or hop off to do some exploring...






or leave the bathroom altogether...



or strut around the house in momma's shoes...




(Please don't exploit my buns, mom.)

Last night John and I were trying to get her to go potty by bribing her with a cookie. She would sit on the pot, grunt, and then stand up, walk into the hall, squat down, and pee...right there on the carpet. I repremanded her and plopped her back on her little seat, after which she stood up, walked into the hall, squated and once again...drizzled on the carpet.

Suffice it to say, she's totally not ready. But that's ok. We'll keep testing those "waters" from time to time, and see if one day she doesn't stop "messing" around...and actually get down to business.