white noise

Last night I couldn’t sleep…my heart was racing, my stomach churning, and I just felt frightened (for no apparent reason). I never thought I suffered from anxiety (with the exception of my last pregnancy), but as I’ve recently learned about some of the symptoms, I’ve concluded that I’m so anxiety ridden, it’s not even funny. It usually hits me at night, when I’m trying to go to sleep. It’s as though my body is in repose, yet because of my frenzied mind, I just simply cannot relax enough to get any rest. Last night I lay there listening to the white noise made by Ruby’s monitor, when I distinctly heard faint lullaby sounds (like the music that comes from a mobile or a jewelry box) coming from the speaker. I knew that I hadn’t turned on Ruby’s mobile, plus if it really had been coming from her nursery, it would’ve been much louder on the monitor. I jumped up and ran to her room (just to be sure that everything was okay). I found my babe sleeping peacefully; and, did not hear any lullaby music. I went back to bed, feeling quite foolish, and wondered if I might have been hearing things. After a minute or two, I heard (for the second time) distant noise coming from the monitor…this time it sounded like the frantic cries of a newborn. I turned off the monitor and the crying stopped. Turned it on again, and the cries resumed. (Remember, just moments earlier, when I checked on her, Ruby had been in a deep sleep.) I know, I know, this sounds like a hoax, but I’m dead serious…this is for real and it gave me the creeps! I ran to Ruby’s room (made John come with me), snatched her out of her hibernation, and dragged her to bed with us. I quickly shut our bedroom door behind us and turned off that possessed monitor! (I’m sure my husband thinks that I’m the one that’s possessed, but he was, nevertheless, a great sport.) It took us all (especially Ruby) a while to unwind after the ordeal, but after listening to some “wholesome” white-noise (from the bathroom fan), we were tranquilized into a deep slumber.