olive or jude?

this morning ruby prayed for a girl. she prays for a girl most mornings, but maybe a bit more fervently this morning, because she knew that john and i would be going to 'phoenix perinatal' as she calls it. (most kids would just ask, oh you have a dr's appt today, mom? but not ruby, for her it's always, mom are you going to phoenix perinatal today? while some kids might inquire, how did your dr's appointment go today?? ruby's question after each appointment is hey mom, how did phoenix perinatal go? it makes me laugh. my little 5 year old...sounding all intelligent.) so anyway, she does, she prays to Heavenly Father a lot that our baby will be a girl. poor girl needs a sister for sure. she'll often (and by often i mean multiple times a day), come right up to my belly and rub it, and kiss it, and say awwww baby olive, (the girl name we've had picked out since my pregnancy of 2007 - which sadly, ended up not being viable due to it's implantation in my left fallopian tube)...and then she goes on, big sister ruby loves you so much. or it'll be something along the lines of, well hello ollie, how are you doing in there today? are you moving, and growing, and kicking a lot? i guess my whole point in telling you all this, is so that you'll better understand, that according to ruby, our baby is most definitely a girl.

this morning we had been talking about my appointment, it would just be a follow-up from my surgery a week ago, but due to our serial cervical length ultrasounds, we figured there might be a chance they would be able to distinguish baby's gender today. true, i'm only 14 weeks, but i was told by the ultrasound tech at the hospital (when i had my surgery) that she often will have a pretty good idea late in the 12th or 13th week, depending on the baby's cooperation; and, most importantly, his or her positioning. unfortunately, we weren't able to tell at the hospital...baby's legs were very closed. i drank some extra orange juice this morning, though...in hopes of seeing a very active, cooperative, leg-spreading baby on that monitor. and by golly, for once my plan worked!
so here goes.....


my dearest baby olive,
i'm sorry to have to inform you, that your time to come to earth? well, it hasn't quite arrived. your daddy and i have always felt and believed that you're up there...waiting...meant to be a part of our family. it's just the timing of it all that can be a bit confusing sometimes.so please, just have patience, and don't give up...and we promise to do the same.
now how am i ever going to break the news to big sister, ruby, that we're having a boy?

with love and (hopeful) anticipation,
your future mom

i have to admit, i was pretty shocked myself with the news; and really, i'd be lying if i were to say that i wasn't - just for a brief moment...okay maybe two - a tiny bit disappointed. i've been dreaming about our little olive for a while now. i figured that since i was finally blessed with a good viable pregnancy - after 4 years of trying - well, i guess i assumed it would be that little girl i had dreamt about for so long.
but alas, that was not part of our Heavenly Father's plan for our family...at least not just yet. i truly believe that the order, and the timing, and even the gender of our children is so intricately thought out, planned out, and even timed out by our Heavenly Father. i don't believe these things to be mere happenstance...each little detail of our families and their structure, is all part of His grand plan. I truly believe that.

so baby number three is a boy...a little buddy for asher. and after getting over the initial shock of it all, i can honestly say that i couldn't be happier. especially after seeing how perfect he was in every way. opening and closing his mouth non-stop (nurse said he was swallowing). we thought it was so funny ,though, seeing his little jaw move up and down. he was a busy little guy, that's for sure (i probably have the oj to thank for that)...moving from side to side, kicking his little legs, waving his arms and hands all over the place;and very proudly, i might add, showing off his manly parts. in fact, the nurse said, gosh, i'm sure glad you guys wanted to find out, i don't know how i ever could have kept that one a secret. it really was so obvious...even to my ignorant and untrained eye. i saw the parts, and knew they could never belong to a girl, even before the technician opened her mouth to utter a word.
see what i mean?


our appointment was early, at 8:15, so afterwards - and only because my bedrest orders were lifted (slightly) - i decided to take asher out and catch up on some very important errands .(for starters, picking up supplies to get going on our halloween costumes. like i said, very important errands!) so while it was just the two of us, i thought it the perfect opportunity to tell him our news...i knew that he would take it well. and our conversation went something like this...

mom: hey asher?
ash: what?
mom: i have a question to ask you.
ash: ok.
mom: so asher, is ruby a boy or a girl?
ash: ruby's a girl!
mom: and asher, what are you? are you a boy or a girl?
asher: (he speaks in 3rd person quite ofter) asher's a boy!
mom: right asher! good job! and guess what, ash? today we found out what the baby is...and do you know what? baby's a boy...just like asher!
asher: (doesn't say a word, but gets the hugest smile on his face...exposing that beautiful, perfect, and enormous dimple on his left cheek. i'm in love with that dimple.)

i took it that he was pretty excited, after all, actions do - more often than not - speak louder than words. these two are going to be the best of buddies.

and then that made me think of ruby again. i had until 3 (that's when she gets home from school), to think of something. i worried about her and her tender little feelings all day.

i picked her up from school at three, and an hour went by before i could say anything. i thought i would do my best to let her down lightly...and by that i meanin a fun, lighthearted, sort of way.
so here's how our conversation went (i love it, and shall never, ever forget it)...

mom: guess what ruby? mom and dad got to see the baby again today.
ruby: you did?!
mom: yeah, and guess what else? we found out what it is!
ruby: you did??!!! (on pins and needles)
mom: we sure did (picking up the ultrasound picture) and i'm going to show you this picture, and see if you can figure out what we're having just by looking at the picture.
ruby: (big smile) ok!
mom: ruby, what do you think that looks like? (pointing right where the blue arrow points in the below image)


ruby: ummmm....hmmmm...the baby's hand?
mom: no, not the baby's hand. guess again.
ruby: is it the baby's head?
mom: no, not it's head either. i'll give you a clue. what makes you and asher so different? like what makes you a girl, and asher a boy?
ruby: (puzzled expression)
mom: okay, let me rephrase that. what is the biggest difference between boys and girls? what does asher have that you don't?
ruby: (puzzled expression finally fading from her face) ahhhhh...i know now! asher has short hair!
mom: well...you're right about that, but (ha...we are getting nowhere with this) there's something else that's really different. when asher goes to the potty, what does he have that is different from you?
ruby: (a little embarrased to say it) well...asher...has...a...wienie?
mom: you're right, so now look at this picture again, and tell me, what does this look like to you?
ruby: (the light bulb finally turns on in her head...and then she starts laughing hysterically) a WIENIE!! (still laughing hysterically)
mom: yep, mom and dad saw the baby's little wienie today on the screen, so do you know what that means, ruby?
ruby: (still thouroughly entertained by all the wienie talk - which we do not typically discuss openly, much less joke about - in our home) yeah, she says...it means we're having a boy.
mom: you're exactly right, ruby, and we still feel like our olive will to come to our family, eventually, but this little guy must have been first in line. (i guess still feeling like i need to cushion the blow for her)
ruby: (as if ignoring the whole olive talk, she starts jumping up and down, and doing a wild little dance) WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!! WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!!

okay, so that went off a lot better than i had expected. wish i hadn't worried about it the whole live long day. she then asked me what we were going to name him. jude, i told her. (the name we almost used for asher. what can i say, we're suckers for bible names, hence isaac, asher....and now jude.) jude! i like it!, she said, and then she asked me if she could call him juder. sure ruby, was my response, you can call him anything you want.

ruby: yay! we're having a boy, and his name is jude!

we're all just a little excited over here...if you can't tell.

welcome, baby jude - early february! we cannot wait to meet you, to welcome you into our family, and to introduce you to our crazy and exciting life! don't worry, you still have a few months to gear up for it.