all doctored up...

This really looks a lot more serious than it is. The fact is, Ruby got an owie (which wasn't even visible to the human eye), but no matter what I tried, she refused to be consoled...until I made a real big deal about it, and busted out all the "doctor" supplies. She was such a great patient, and even remembered to thank me after every single step. I must possess some pretty great doctoring skills, because miraculously her pain was gone as soon as I finished the last step of treatment, which was wrapping the hot pink bandage around her ankle...

as if it were our last...

A couple of weeks ago I went to see My Sister's Keeper with two of my friends. We were (and I think I'm safe to speak for all three of us) a bunch of blubbering bawl babies throughout the ENTIRE movie. I had read the book, so I thought the movie would be a huge let down. It turned out to be pretty different in a lot of ways, but I enjoyed it almost more. Actually enjoy is the wrong word, because I cried consistently throughout, but I guess you could say that my eyes were opened. I learned so many important lessons, one of which was pretty obvious - that being the delicacy of human life. It's so precious and fragile. It's something we should never take for granted. It's something that could be taken from us, or from someone we love, in the blink of an eye. It's so short. I realized while watching this particular movie, that I need to make more of my life. That I need to stretch myself in so many ways. That I need to be better at expressing my love. That I need to be more grateful. Happier. That I need to better my relationships...especially with my husband and children. Not to say that we have bad relationships, but if one of them were taken from me in this very moment, I know I would live the rest of my life with some sort of regret. Regret because maybe I didn't spend as much time with them as I should have. Or regret because maybe I didn't tell them I loved them as often as I as thinking it. It seems that no matter what, some sort of if only, or would have, or should have, always creeps in. I decided that I don't want to live with those regrets. I carry a huge burden of regret that hasn't left me since the day my own mother passed away - almost 12 years ago. I wish I would have gone into her bedroom more when she was sick. For days and weeks that bed was her home, and many times she lay there all alone (my dad was with her most of the time, but he also had 7 children and an entire household to care for, oh, and a full time job). Why didn't I lay by her side more? Why didn't I take the opportunity, while she was coherent, to tell her that I loved her more than life itself? That I appreciated all the things she had done for me, and everything that she had sacrificed for my happiness? Why didn't I thank her for teaching me about the Savior, and for letting me borrow her testimony until I finally found my own? Why didn't I take advantage of those moments when it would have been just the two of us, mother and daughter, to promise her that I would live a good life so that I could see her again? I think It's because I hoped that she would beat the disease....that she would get better, and that those two months of hell, would someday be nothing more than an uncomfortable, and very distant memory.

When I got home from the movie, it was late, and the house was dark and quiet. I climbed into bed, and held my little Ruby (who has made our bed her own) as tight as I could without waking her. I lay there reflecting upon the deep messages I pulled from the movie, and ended up planning our entire tomorrow together. It was a day I shall not soon forget...

After reading scriptures and eating breakfast as a family, we got started on our first project together, which was to paint a beautiful landscape...

Haha...not sure it turned out so beautiful, but we put our hearts into it, and that's all that really matters, right?

Next up, we made a necklace from a little kit she got as a birthday gift from her cousin, Lincoln...


Then we put together and painted the birdhouse kit that she got as a party favor from little Em's birthday...

We even got on you tube and learned how to make an origami bird...


Finally, we got ourselves ready for the day, and went out on the town...

It was one of the sweetest, most well-spent days of my life.

So, after learning the hard way (the experience with my mom), and because of occasional stimuli (such as this movie), I've once again resolved to live each day as if it were my last; and to try and treat other's as if I might never see them again.

Now, let's see how long it lasts before I need another stark reminder.

and then there was FUN...

Before you surmise that all we did at youth conference was sit around and read the Book of Mormon for three days (oh wait, that was last year) let me just tell you about some of the fun we had. We arrived at camp Thursday, somewhere around noon. We were supposed to use the next few hours to set up our tents and camp areas; however, thanks to our wonderful Young Men's president, and his son - who headed up the night before - our camp site was already set up and ready for us by the time we arrived! The girls' and boys' sites were divided by a ravine..."Helaman's Sons" on one side, and "Ishmael's Daughters" on the other. Every section of camp had clever and creative sinage which had some sort of Book of Mormon or scripture reference. For example the whole camp site was called "The Promised Land ", the nurse's station was called "Look and Live", our designated eating area was called "The land of Milk and Honey", the boys' row of port-a-potties was labled "Desolation of Nehors" (I thought that one was hilarious), the girls'..." The Lake of Fire and Brimstone" (also pretty funny). There was also a candy shop, "Gadianton's Goodies & Sweet Combinations", where the kids could cash in their Senines and Ontis (part of the Nephite system of monetary exchange) for candy and treats.

After familiarizing ourselves with the whole camp set-up, and because our site was already set-up, we had plenty of free-time to lounge. In our camp chairs we sat - for close to 5 hours...enjoying the beauty of our surroundings, some good conversation, each other's company, Sister Tuckett's snacks, and the hot, hot sun.

After dinner that evening, we had a variety show...and variety it had. I enjoyed watching the youth showcase their talents, put on some funny acts and skits, and lip sync. We had to endure at least one or more bad joke from every single Bishop...haha, no they really weren't bad, but if they didn't get a loud enough laugh or applause from the audience, they got gonged (yes we did have a giant gong sitting at the foot of the stage), just like in the old school variety shows. And, well, as if that wasn't enough fun for one evening, we got to close the night with a dance. It was so great to see everyone come together, and just shake it. Ha...even we old leaders did our fair share of rug cuttin' (now that's an old lady term if I've ever heard one)!

Friday was a crazy day, packed with all kinds of fun. In the morning the kids were divided into groups by age for some great team building games and activities. They had a giant tug-o-war, a water balloon launch, and about 4 or 5 other activities which they rotated through for the better part of the morning and early afternoon.

After lunch, it was on to the bigger and better things, such as: the flying squirrel, knife and hawk throwing, archery, rifle shooing, a service project (humanitarian work), and the zip line. John and I were in charge of manning the zip line. We stood out in the hot sun, harnessing and unharnessing kids...one after another, for 6.5 hours. By the end, our knees were achy and our legs were shaky...but seeing how much fun those kids were having, made every single second of suffering - totally worth it. After sending 150 kids down that zip line, I thought I might be too exhausted to try it out myself. I didn't think I had one ounce of energy or strength left in me to tackle the hill (it was quite a climb). I'm glad John talked me into it, though, because at the top of that mountain, I found my second wind...and I then I was able to come down like this...WAHOOOOO (yes I was hootin' and hollerin' the ENTIRE way down)!

Thanks for the picture, Bro. Tuckett!

That evening we had our wonderful "Tree of Life" depiction; and Saturday, after taking down camp, we had a two hour testimony meeting, which robbed me of every last tear (sounds like such a bad thing...but no, these were happy, happy tears). I am just so proud of these youth. They made such a righteous decision by coming to youth conference...especially because there were a million other things they could have been doing. How strong and valiant they are. How vivacious and full of life. I know that they felt the Spirit of the Lord. I know that they felt of God's love for them...

And I know that they had lots and lots of FUN!

it came to life...

I have a testimony of the truthfulness of The Book of Mormon. Ever since I can even remember, I have know that it's the word of God. That it compliments the Bible (which is also the word of God). That it is another testament of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I grew up reading from it's pages. When my family was young, we were lucky to be able to get through 4 or 5 verses a day. Those 4 or 5 verses, however, invited the Spirit of the Lord into our home. They welcomed a feeling of love and peace. As we got a bit older we began drawing pictures on the pages. Pictures which depicted what we had just read. I still have that old Book of Mormon filled with my 5th grade sketches. Tender memories flood my heart and mind as I flip through the pages to find a picture of sticks - all different lengths, representing the lots that were cast between Nephi and his brothers. Or the drawing of a headless Laban lying in a pool of blood. Or of the ship that Nephi constructed. Or of the tree of life from Lehi's dream, brimming with white fruit, which represented the Love of God. Or the giant bold letters H-O-O-R-A-Y, written towards the end of the second book of Nephi...a celebratory indicator that we had made it all the way through the Isaiah chapters.
I'm so grateful to my parents who helped make the Book of Mormon come to life in my life. I'm grateful to them for instilling in me a love for reading...and more specifically, a love for reading the Book of Mormon. I read it for the first time on my own as a teenager. I remember kneeling by my bedside and testing Moroni's challenge. You know, the one in which he exhorts us to ask God if these things are not true...and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. It was in that very moment, in the privacy of my own bedroom, that I got my very own answer through the power of the Holy Ghost, just as Moroni had promised. Peace enveloped me. A feeling of love prevailed. I was filled with - no longer just a belief - but a knowledge that what I had just read was indeed true. A new desire to read and re-read the Book of Mormon - all the days of my life - was born. I've since lost track of the number of times I've read the book. Each time I finish it, I begin it again. I can't say, however, that every time I read it, I have a life changing experience. I must admit that many times when I read, I allow my mind to wander. Sometimes I'll read several pages at a time, and later realize that I have no idea what I had just read. Sometimes I read without thought. Sometimes my heart is not in it. Sometimes I read just so I can check off that I have read. Sometimes I read and forget that I'm reading about real people, and real life events. Sometimes I read, but fail to ask the Lord what he would have me learn from the passages - how I might apply them to my own life.
It was for these reasons, and many more, that I was so grateful for the chance to go to youth conference this year...which was completely centered around The Book of Mormon. The objective, and hope, in choosing such a theme, was that the Book of Mormon might actually come to life for the youth (and leaders alike). That they (we) would have a new found desire to read it...and not just to read it, but to read it with real intent. Throughout the conference, many prophets and heroes from the Book of Momon made special guest appearances. We heard from Abinadi, Captain Moroni, and King Benjamin. Following each of their speeches, we were privileged to hear from a seminary teacher from our stake. He was amazing, and as he taught, the verses and chapters of which he spoke, began to come to life for me. We had a very special program in which we were able to experience Lehi's dream (which Nephi is later allowed to relive through a vision). Each of us held onto an iron rod, symbolizing the word of God.

Through the forest, and with the Holy Ghost as our guide (YW and YM presidents dressed in white and carrying flashlights),

we were led through all the facets of Lehi's prophetic (and very symbolic) dream. Through the large and spacious field we trudged,

along the river of water and the mists of darkness, past the great and spacious building - where the prideful followers of the world stood and mocked us to scorn.

On our way we went, following the straight and narrow path, ever clinging - even sometimes with both hands - to that rod of iron...

until off in the distance we could hear a choir of heavenly angels...be still my soul. There, permeating through the thick, dense darkness was the most glorious sight to behold - a tree, strewn with phosphorescent lights, and blanketed with luminous white fruit. Angels dressed in the purest white, encircled the tree.

I longed to be there. As we made our way through thick mists of darkness, which represented Satan's temptations, and as People were pointing their fingers and mocking us for holding onto the rod...all I wanted to do was to run...run to that tree. To me, that tree represented peace, it represented safety, a refuge from the world. It represented Love. It represented my Savior. It represented eternal life, and of course, the Love of God (which we have been taught by Nephi). There is no greater manifestation of this love than that of Jesus Christ and His atonement. These chapters of The Book of Mormon came to life for me through this experience, and more fully as each of us were invited to partake of the fruit. Being asked by the stake to take pictures along our journey, I lifted my camera and witnessed the most beautiful sight...hands, dozens of hands, reaching for their own piece of fruit. Tears welled up in my eyes, and clouded my vision.

The photo turned out far less than what I had originally seen through the camera's viewfinder; but thankfully that image is instilled in my memory forever. I felt so much love in my heart for each of these youth and the other leaders (one of which happened to be my very own husband). I watched as each person pulled some fruit from the tree, and I watched as my husband reached up and took a piece for himself, and then picked one for me.

I could not hold back the tears, as this familiar scripture story came to life for me like never before. As a ward, we spent the next several moments seated in a circle in the middle of an open field. We shared our love for one another, we cried together, we bore witness to each other of the feelings we were each experiencing, we resolved to make our lives better, to cling to that iron rod (with both hands if it becomes necessary) so that we can each - individually and collectively - partake of the fruit of the tree of life (Christ's atonement). I know that by so doing, we will each be awarded a spot at the right hand of God...which gift is eternal life.
I am so grateful for the programs of the church, especially the programs designed for our youth. The church puts a lot of money into these programs, countless hours are devoted to the planning and carrying out of these events. And why? Why does the church allow so much of it's money, and so much of it's member's time, talents, and energies to be poured into programs like this? Well, it's so that these youth might have an experience. Maybe even a life altering experience. It's so that they might develop a greater understanding of the gospel, and a deeper relationship with - and love for - the Savior. It's the hope that they might have the desire to better their lives. And it's so that, in our case, the Book of Mormon might come to life in their lives. I'm convinced that if just one life was changed on account of one of these conferences, or programs, or camps...then it will have made every last sacrifice of time, and money, and whatever else - totally and completely worth it. I know that my life was changed from our three days of youth conference. My love and appreciation, (might I even say passion) for the Book of Mormon, has intensified. My relationship with my Savior has grown. My love for my husband and for our family is stronger. And I now have a greater desire to share the fruit of the gospel with everyone I know.