Monday, September 10, 2007

to be a Savior on Mount Zion...

The Barboza Family- Juan, Sandra, Dafne, Me, Sol, Yael
Mar de Ajo

Mar de Ajo

Cata, Me, Juan, and Hermana Bingham
Mar de Ajo

Me and Hermana Belliston with some investigators

Me and Hermana Bingham, caught in a rain storm

I am called of God. My authority is above that of the kings of the earth. By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is my Master and He has chosen me to represent Him. To stand in His place, to say and do what He himself would say and do if He personally were ministering to the very people to whom He has sent me. My voice is His voice, and my acts are His acts; my words are His words and my doctrine is His doctrine. My commission is to do what He wants done. To say what He wants said. To be a living modern witness in word and deed of the divinity of His great and marvelous latter-day work. How Great Is My Calling!
-Bruce R. McConkie

Everyday. Everyday while serving as a full-time representative of the Lord, I would recite this commission. What an honor and privilege it was to have received my call by revelation. To stand in the place of the Savior. To engage in His work. To speak His words. To emulate His light. To testify of His divinity...
My soul has often longed for the return of my days as a missionary. To once again have the constant companionship of the Spirit. To not fear man, but to only fear my God. I long for the knowledge I had as a missionary, and for my words to once again flow with eloquence from my tongue. To just be able to love like that again. To love with a pure, genuine, Christlike love; and not just to feel that love for those with whom I share a special kinship - for those of my own blood, but for all mankind - every human soul. I will never forget the profoundly tender feelings of affection I felt towards the people whom I served. The righteous, as well as the sinner. The rich and the poor. The educated and the unlearned. The kind hearted and the thoughtless. I loved them all...and my love for them was so much that I couldn't bear the thought of even one of them being lost, being left behind. I was empathetic toward the missionary sons of Mosiah, for even the very thought that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.
Oh to once again be filled with that same compassion...with that same charity.

This weekend was stake conference. I love the conferences of the church. I love listening, and learning, and taking notes, and basking in the warmth of the Holy Spirit. What would the Lord have me Learn? What is he trying to teach me? I ask myself. What changes do I need to make in my life that would please my Heavenly Father? All very personal questions, yes. I will therefore, abstain from sharing the specifics of the impressions I received in response to my inquiries. This I will say though, and no, it's nothing new. Nothing I nor you haven't heard before. Just something that struck me differently this time. Something that I now see in a new light. As a baptized member of Christ's church, I can, and actually have the responsibility of being a missionary, without being a missionary (called and set apart). I can still set an example for the rest of the world. I can still emulate His light. Say what He would say. Do what He would do. Nothing is stopping me from testifying of His divinity. The Lord is not denying me of his spirit. It is ABSOLUTELY something I can, and should feel on a daily basis. That love I spoke of. That genuinely tender, perfectly flawless, Christlike ABSOLUTELY something I can and should be feeling toward all humankind. You don't have to be a full time missionary to be a light unto the world, a Savior on Mount just have to be worthy of His spirit. For that is when the bounds of love are lifted. That is when our hearts and minds are filled to overflowing with knowledge and understanding, the words begin to flow, the light begins to shine forth, and the good news of the gospel is shouted from the rooftops! So there it is. My so called epiphany...


buddens said...

Love it, Nicole. That quote from Elder McConkie is great! And I love the part you wrote about how "nothing is stopping me from testifying of His divinity," but sadly, I would have to add for myself that nothing is stopping me except myself! Myself and all the little things I let into my life every day that distract me from all the "shoulds" I have. Eek. Sort of an eye opener! We really do have so much already there for the taking, we just have to put forth the effort to take it all and run with it.

I love how you described feeling love towards all of humanity too. Sort of puts it all into perspective! (Both in a good and bad way because it's inspiring, but it also makes me feel bad for ever having a negative thought about anyone -- even just a bad driver in traffic!) Hmm. Way long comment. Sorry. Clearly you have stirred up something in me, so before I write a dissertation, I'll just say ... thanks for your post!

Amber and Dallas said...

Nicole- Thank you for your sweet words. I am in tears as I read through your thoughts - what a wonderful example you are. I know I need to strive to be a better person and have that Christ like love all the time. Missionary work is really simple if we just take the opportunity to share the gospel with others. What an impressionable post!

diana rose said...

nicole! thank you.

Dad said...

Now that your sister has her mission call, I'm anxious for her to read your post. The feelings expressed there by you are wonderful, and I'm sure they'll be inspiring to her.

Kira Joy said...

You always have the most beautiful thoughts Nicole. I am so glad I found your blog. It has made my day on more than one occasion.

Seth said...

This past week my institute instructor challenged us to find out more about what it means to be a "Saviour on Mount Zion". I googled it and this is one of the first results that popped up.

I know you were probably intending on only your family and friends reading this, but I thought you might like to know that your words helped to uplift a stranger as well. It's always a treat to be able to hear someone's mission experiences!