a minimalist...

i am not.

but i'm trying to be.

about a month ago we took a very quick and very last minute trip to disneyland.

we had been talking about going for a couple of years, but couldn't ever pin down a date to go.

we finally just did it...on a whim.

that's the best kind of trip if you ask me. just super last minute and spontaneous.

i didn't like the fact that it was so short, but hey, it was an adventure that i would do all over again in a heartbeat if i could.

while we were there we stayed with my brother and sister-in-law.

they live on this cool peninsula in long beach.

picture this.

if you walk out their front door and go to the left, there's the ocean. and if you walk out their front door and go to the right, you'll run right into a beautiful bay for swimming.

it was a dream come true.

definitely a life i could get used to.

their place was perfect, too. not huge. not fancy. but very clean, and organized, and completely devoid of clutter.

in fact, at one point, i asked my sister-in-law where all their stuff was.

were they renting a storage unit? i wondered.

no, she told me, this is it. we have a couple of boxes out in the garage, but no, this is everything.

i decided then and there that i needed to make some changes in my own life and home.

i have a confession to make.

i might be a borderline hoarder.

i just have this problem of hanging onto things - thinking they will serve a purpose, or be of good use to me at some future point.

somewhat counterintuitive is the fact that i also like being organized...

so rather than getting rid of things that i don't currently use, i am constantly buying bins and organizers to stash my junk in.

it's getting ridiculous, and really starting to cramp my style.

we have so much stuff, but no more space to put anything.

let me just tell you, it's not easy keeping a clean house when it's filled to the brim.

and let's not even discuss our garage situation.

i'll just say that both of our cars have been kicked to the curb, and leave it at that.

today i decided that i had had enough.

i grabbed some trash bags and headed to our master bathroom.

seemed like a good place to start.

i went through the linen closet, and the cupboards under the sinks, and the drawers...

and i just went crazy dumping, and throwing, and purging.

it felt oh so good.

i filled two huge garbage bags with trash, and another couple for goodwill.

i laughed when i came across this...

a giant plastic IHC bag filled with medical supplies.

for a couple of weeks after i had isaac, different nurses frequented my home to administer iv antibiotics.

a medical supply company had delivered everything these nurses would need for my home care. don't even ask me why i have held onto this stuff for nearly 6 years...and through two moves. seriously, i wouldn't even know what to do with this stuff if i needed it.

i have an influx of iv starter kits, iv catheters, sterile syringes for iv flushing, heparin syringes, gauze sponges, alcohol prep pads, and 1000 ml of 0.9% sodium chloride irrigation USP (whatever that is?).

so anyway, if you have a use for any of this stuff...it's all yours...you'll just have to dig through my trash can to get it.

aren't you proud of me?

i'm making strides towards minimalism.

and it's empowering.

i feel like i need to be completely honest by mentioning the fact that after all that dumping, and throwing, and purging...

i took a trip to walmart for more bins.

correction: i'm taking baby steps towards minimalism.

and it's empowering.

laundromat

this boy makes everything fun


even the three hours we spent at the laundromat.

9 lives

today ruby chose to take her little cat for show 'n' tell...for the 2nd time. she gets to bring something for show 'n' tell everyday, so on occasion, we get some repeats. this little cat has quite the history. she comes all the way from china-town in san fransisco. john picked her out especially for ruby when he was there on business a few months back. and even though we're not really a cat family, it was love at first sight for ruby as she first held her miniature, and very life-like kitten. the next day, she took her little kitty to show 'n' tell at school. she came home and told me that all her friends loved her kitty cat, and that everyone wanted a turn to pet her.
we hadn't been home more than 10 minutes, though, when she came running into the kitchen (where i was preparing lunch) in complete hysterics. she was just sobbing. she informed me that dix-d had pooed all over her little kitty. what? i thought. i followed her into the playroom, where kitty was lying on the floor - completely defaced...and skinned. what ruby thought was poo, was actually kitty...without any fur. and yes, it was dix-d who had gotten to her. it really is true, dogs don't care much for cats, do they?
i did my best to patch her up. she was far from perfect when i was finished, but ruby did not even recognize the difference, and i became her hero that day. if it's also true that cats have 9 lives...i guess this little one has 8 to go.

family prayer...

can be challenging down right impossible at our house.


please tell me we're not the only ones.

*note: asher did start out on his knees like the rest of us. he just has an extremely short attention span. and, fyi, before you deem my behavior blasphemous, i did wait until after the prayer to take these pictures.

family time

i love spending time with my family. of course, i don't know anyone who doesn't. it's just that, with everything john and i have had going on lately, we haven't had much time to spend together as a family. much quality time, i should say. today for fhe, we caught a matinée showing of gnomeo and juliet in 3d (very cute. and a miracle, i might add, that asher actually sat through the entire movie), and then we headed home to roast hot dogs over a backyard fire. it was the best. we listened to music, laughed, sang songs, took silly pictures, and just relaxed. ruby asked questions like why is the fire pointing up to the sky? and why is the fire so colorful? she had both of us stumped. we gave her some pretty ridiculous answers like...well, that's just what fires do, and that's just how fires are. man do i need to go back to school, or what?

it was nice to finally be able to take a deep breath, and just enjoy.

enjoy everything.

my family, my surroundings, and the simplicity of life (at least for today).

happy valentine's day

*mini shoot done by my good friend scarlett.

i rest my case

in my last post, i mentioned that maybe i sometimes have a little problem of biting off more than i can chew.
well here's some further evidence to support my case.

Exhibit A:


this is my binder for the church callings and responsibilities (aside from wife and mom) that i currently have. on top of my main, full-time calling as the first counselor in the primary, i am serving on a stake committee responsible for planning and carrying out a women's conference (just a week away) for approximately 400 rs sisters in the stake. i'm also a 1st year ycl leader for stake girls' camp (end of may), and together, john and i have been called to go on the trek with the youth of our stake (first part of june). it's a lot for me right now. in fact, if i think too long and hard about it all, i get overwhelmed...sometimes to the point of tears even. i'm not trying to be negative, because i love serving, i really do; and i absolutely love serving in each of these capacities...but (you saw that coming, didn't you?) my plate is so full right now, that some days i don't even know where to start. i can't even figure out something as simple as taking a bite. john's calling right now as 2nd counselor in the stake young mens, is also pretty cumbersome. maybe that isn't the right word. it's definitely manageable, and he totally loves it, but it does exact his time. time that he could be here holding the fort while i serve. ha. i guess what gets me through and keeps me going is knowing that 3 of these 4 callings are temporary; and by mid-june, i'll be back to just one.maybe by then i'll be able to stop and...well...just breathe. but then again, i know myself all too well.i'll be so sad with only one calling, that i'll happily and hungrily start loading my plate up again.ha...such is life.my eyes have always been bigger than my stomach.
i now rest my case.

* side note: i decided to refrain from submitting exhibit b...which would be a picture of the inside of my house. believe me, if you only knew what it looked like right now, you'd thank me for renouncing any further evidence.

good intentions...but

i have a problem of biting off more that i can chew sometimes.

i have the best intentions, but sadly, i often fall short of those.

this morning i slept through my alarm, and thus didn't make it to my morning boot camp.

i even slept through the text my friend sent me (15 minutes into the class) telling me to get my buns out of bed and come work out.

like i said, i was really, really, like abnormally, tired last night.

i started feeling bad about the fact that i've been such a slacker with my workouts, that i had this brilliant idea of putting asher in the stroller, and going for a jog to pick up ruby from preschool...which is just over three miles away.

three miles is nothing, right?

right. if you're in somewhat decent shape.

but i am constantly being humbled and therefore reminded of how extremely out of shape i am these days.

can you see where this story is headed?

i gave myself plenty of time to run the three miles...ensuring i would not be late in picking ruby up.

what i did not consider, however, is what if i was not able to run the entire way, and had to actually stop and walk from time to time? i'n fact what if i ended up walking almost the entire first mile, and then had to run a six-minute-mile for the next 2.5 miles to make it on time?

let's just say when i realized my predicament, i ran like the wind, determined to be there when the kids filed out in their perfect single-file line to meet their parents.

but alas i had to come to terms with the fact that i'm just not what i used to be.

i stopped and called john.

he just laughed and said he'd be on his way.

he's my husband, he knows me and my lofty ambitions all too well. he mostly just laughs at me, but then always comes to my rescue.

i believe that every post deserves a photo, but i know better than to post something as ridiculous as how i must have looked huffing and puffing my way down the street, pushing a double stroller - occupied by only one child, sporting a pair red chuck taylors and goofy purple sunglasses.

rather, i will save myself (and all of you) the embarrassment, and just leave you with an image of my sweet little ruby. she had her valentine's party today, and here she is holding the darling box full of cards and candy, that she made at school.

isn't she a little lovey?
here's to a new day and hoping i can at least accomplish one thing i set out to do.

exhausted

doesn't even elucidate the way i feel right now.


we had both kids in our bed last night. ruby resides there every night, so that's nothing new; but it was definitely a first for asher. i finally took him to his own bed at about one am, when i realized that as long as he was in our room, he wasn't going to be sleeping. it was too much of a novelty for him.and then an hour or two later, john and i were both awakened to ruby who was laughing hysterically in her sleep.she then woke up as well, and proceeded to tell us all about her amusing dream in which (and these are her exact words)i threw a fish at a bee, and the bee took the fish, and put it in the mermaid's tail, and the fish was upside down in the mermaid's tail. it was so funny. and then she just rolled over and went back to sleep. in the morning i asked her for a bit more clarification on her dream, (and actually wondered if she'd even remember anything about it). she laughed, and then sure enough, repeated the dream to me exactly as she had in the middle of the night. it must have been one of those things that is a lot funnier in person, because i'm still trying to find the humor in it.
well i'm signing off...and i have a feeling that the moment my head hits the pillow, i'll be building my own sand castles in the sky.
goodnight.

my little love

Last Friday night, after putting asher to bed, Ruby and I worked on her class valentines together.
I have the best childhood memories of putting together my own valentines with my own mother. I used to look at all the cards, and hand pick which one I wanted to go to whom. Even each and every conversation heart was selected with care. I took the whole process very seriously. I still remember opening a valentine from a boy in my class. We were in the third grade. It was a Cracker Jack valentine card with Jack the sailor, holding a box of cracker jacks in one hand, and a boquet of flowers in the other. At the top of the card, it read I like you. I took the message very literally, and wholeheartedly believed that this boy had a crush on me. Isn't Valentine's Day fun?
For Ruby's class valentines, we decided to do something a little different from the typical card in the envelope with a few candy hearts. We went to the scrapbook store and picked out a cute vintage paper, and then used it to decorate match boxes which Ruby then filled with red and pink m&m's. She took a lot of time writing each name; and then, just like her mother, she carefully selected which picture and accompanying quote was best suited for each classmate and teacher.
She is such a little love.

just when i thought

the day couldn't get any worse...



that's my cell phone...in the microwave.

asher put it in there while i was brushing my teeth in the bathroom,
and when i came out,
the microwave was on fire.
i'm talking full-on flames here.
i swear, that boy needs around the clock surveillance.

my sister-in-law warned me after today's earlier post...
i've learned to never say it can't get worse, she said, it's some sort of evil jinks.

amy, i totally believe you,
and i promise to never say that ever again.

i've decided to send asher straight to bed...

without any supper.

happy monday

it can only get better from here, right?

peace of mind

I spent the day yesterday canning chicken with some friends.
Have you ever canned chicken? Believe me, I was a bit skeptical a couple of years ago when I first tried it out. Especially because the finished product looks like a vital organ floating in a jar of formaldehyde. But it has a great flavor, it's moist, and it falls apart on it's own. Perfect for any recipe calling for shredded chicken. And the best part? It goes toward my food storage supply. Seeing those jars line my pantry shelves is such a beautiful sight.No, not because it looks like a creepy collection of human hearts, but because, to me, it represents comfort... and peace of mind.

cotton cheese

I love how my kids call cottage cheese, cotton cheese.

I hope they never grow out of that one,

I think it's hilarious.

the friendly beasts

I'm embarrassed that I'm just now getting around to putting up some pictures and video from Ruby's preschool Christmas program. It's been over a month now. My goal is to have all of my holiday posts completed and posted, (it's sad how many of my blog entries are still in the 'draft' stage - finished, or nearly finished - but never published) by the end of January.
I have to be honest. This little program was probably one of the cutest things I have ever seen. It actually made me cry. A few times. The whole thing was centered on Christ. No songs about Santa, or the reindeer. Nothing about jingling bells or christmas tree rockin'. Every song had something to do with the Christ Child, and let me just tell you, nothing even compares to hearing innocent children sing about the Savior. They sang songs like Picture a Christmas, Christmas Bells are Ringing, and even the familiar primary song, If The Savior Stood Beside Me. Probably my very favorite, was their sweet and tender rendition of The Friendly Beasts song. First I must ask, where has this song been all my life? I don't understand how I had never heard it before, especially since it's been around for centuries. Well, at least since the 1920's. I don't know, maybe I had heard it. All I know is that never has it affected me like it did that day...hearing my sweet 4 year old sing it with a few of her friends.

Isn't that just the sweetest song? It makes me cry every time.

It may seem silly to some, but for me, it's nothing but beautiful.

I love contemplating that very special night, and not just the important role the shepherds, wise men, and angels played...but the animals as well.

After all, God loves His beasts too, doesn't He?
I have listened to several versions of this song since I first heard Ruby sing it with her class; and I must say...none of them even compare in my book.

I guess if I had to rank them, this would take a close second.

The arrangement is simply beautiful. Had me crying (surprise, surprise), but also laughing at the same time.

I love songs that can play with my emotions like that.

Ruby was the star in her play.

When I first asked her what she was going to be, she replied,

"I'm the star, mom, and Miss Arlene said that we're all friends, and that friends don't laugh at each other."

Needless to say, I was pretty anxious to see what this star outfit was going to look like.

The day of the program arrived, and just as Miss Arlene had admonished, and to my relief, the children did not laugh at Ruby in her star costume.

Rather, it was the parents - myself included - whom you'll hear, how should I say it, expressing amusement, upon her grand entrance.

I mean how could you not at least chuckle?

She's stinkin' adorable.

the great big world

Ruby came home from school the other day and educated me on the period (as in punctuation mark). She told me that Miss Arlene said that it was the tiniest stop sign in the world. That made me laugh. In the same sitting, she explained to me that Laman and Lemuel (Nephi's wicked brothers from the Book of Mormom) were the 'grumpy, bumpy brothers'- also something she learned at school, and again, something that made me laugh. I haven't written much about Ruby and her preschool ventures this year,which I totally feel bad about. The truth is, I have been amazed by the things she is learning. She only goes 3 times per week, for 2.5 hrs each, yet the amount of things they get through in a single day, blows my mind. They've learned all their colors and shapes (even strange shapes like the pentagon), and numbers and letters (by their sounds, not their actual names, this will help them later on as they begin to read, which is happening now...I just attend my parent/teacher reading clinic with Miss Arlene). They also memorize poems, study science, learn about different cultures, practice writing their first and last names every day, and bring home the most adorable art projects known to man. And to top it all off, they are learning the scriptures! During the 1st half of the year, they studied the Bible - old and new testament - ending with Christ's birth. Ruby would come home and tell me about Noah and the Ark, or Daniel in the Lion's den. She was especially distraught as she retold the story of Joseph, and how his brothers threw him in a pit, and then brought his bloody coat back to their father. She told all me about David and Goliath, and Jonah and the whale.When they came back from Christmas break, they began learning about and studying The Book of Mormon. As a family, we read and discuss the Book of Mormon daily; and it's so refreshing to know that what we're teaching her at home, and what she learns at church, is being reinforced at school. Repetition is key to learning and retaining knowledge. Plus I love all the exposure she is getting, and the many different teaching techniques that are being used on her. I also love to see her little budding testimony take shape as it begins to blossom into something beautiful and pure.I couldn't ask for a better program for my angel. I know that this will provide her with all the confidence she needs as she ventures out into the great big world...
also known as kindergarten.

neat little rows

My little Asher, bless his heart, has never been one for order. His life motto (if he could flat out tell me) I'm sure would be something like this-dump it out, throw it, crush it, jump on top of it, mix it up, mess it up, smash it...and then start all over again. Hence his nickname tornado.One can only imagine, then, my state of utter shock when he was discovered in his playroom today- quietly and methodically - lining all of his cars up in neat little rows.
Now if Ruby hadn't been at school, I never would have believed that he was solely responsible for creating something...so...systematic...and orderly. I praised him up and down, and over and over, and took at least a dozen pictures. He was just a grinning from ear to ear...so proud of himself.
Then when Ruby got home, they created this masterpiece together...



Again I was in utter shock. Not only by their precise system of displaying all the cars, but that he was actually cooperating and conducting himself in a civilized manner - and for more than 3 minutes at a time.
He really is growing up and making progress.

Still has a ways to go toward perfection....


but then again, who doesn't?

gathered 'round the christmas tree

A couple more Christmas pics for your enjoyment...

One of us all decked out in our snazzy sunday/holiday getups,

the other is of us in our Christmas eve pj's.

I sewed my pajama bottoms, and John sewed his.

Good times.

The kids are pretty tired in this pic.

It had been a long day.

We had had a fun dinner of holiday hors D'oeuvres,

and then our first ever reenactment of the nativity.

I'll have to post some video of that.

It was really cute.

By the time we finally got pajamas on, the kids were flat out, ready for bed -

in every way (do you notice Ruby rubbing her eyes? Both of them were completely exhausted).

We quickly put them down, so that the 'adults' could enjoy the rest of the evening

(which we did, I'll have to post some video of that too);

but John and I felt horrible when we later realized that we hadn't done any of the fun things we typically do with our kids on Christmas eve (i.e. putting cookies and milk out for Santa).

What kind of horrible parents are we?

Ruby wouldn't let us live it down either.

We explained to her that Santa actually helped himself to a few cookies that he had found the in the pantry, and then poured his own glass of milk...and that he was totally fine with that.

It was like a fun adventure for him...a treasure hunt of sorts.

That seemed to pacify her.

What was really sad, is that Santa's bells can usually be heard jingling right outside the kids' window, and his jolly HOHOHO's booming over the intercom for the children to hear.

But neither of those transpired this year.

Or maybe they did, and we 'adults' were just too distracted to notice?? Ha.

Seriously, what kind of mother am I?

being humbled

I've started working out again. It's been nearly 5 months. Today was my third day back, and I've been wounded already. In case you can't tell from the photo, that's my shin. I tried to do a box jump on a standard size plyo box, and I totally missed it. Smacked my shin pretty good. I've always been a bit clumsy, but to miss the box altogether? That's just down right ridiculous. Especially because I've done those jumps nearly a thousand times...and landed every single one of them. Perfectly.
So between that, and Ruby asking me why my tummy is getting so big (both in the same day)...I guess you could say I've been humbled. Just 6 months ago I was in the best shape of my life. I was fitter, and faster, and stronger than I had ever been. And now I can barely fit into the jeans that I wore during my entire pregnancy with Ruby. Yep, my fat jeans. I can barely squeeze into my fat jeans. That's just pathetic. I jumped on the scale the other day (first time in weeks) and was completely horrified. How anyone can gain nearly 20 pounds in 6 month's time, is beyond me. Sure I was pregnant for 3 of those, but I'm not anymore...so what's the deal? I guess eating like crap and not exercising for long enough, eventually will catch up with you. I'm seriously sick about it though, and have even lost hours of sleep over it. Ha. It feels good to finally be working out again (humbling, but good);and I can't wait to get my speed, strength, agility...
and favorite pair of jeans back.

my everything

I'm still going through all of our Christmas photos. I'm telling you, I took a ton. And over an hour's worth of video, too. I'm probably never going to do anything with most of it, which makes me sad, but I just had to at least post these two. I love these pictures. I can't even explain how excited the kids were about Christmas, so I'll let these pictures do all the talking. Seriously, have you ever seen two kids more excited about Christmas? I loved being the mom this year, and being able to just sit back and watch my children discover the magic of the season.
I'll be honest, I'm a little sad it's all over with. It's been hard being back. I've done my best the past couple of days to take the decorations down, unpack all of our suitcases, and jump back into the reality of life...and schedules...and responsibilities. I knew it would be hard, it always is, but man, this year has thrown me for a loop. I'm hoping by at least next week, things will pretty much be back to normal. I have yet to cook a meal since we've been home. Yikes.

Tonight I was lying down with the kids listening to some lullabies. The room was dark and silent, except for the soothing music playing faintly in the background. We were all snuggled in Ruby's twin bed. The moment felt perfect. And then I heard a sniffle...

Ruby: Mom, what ever happened to baby Isaac?
Me: Well, he died, remember? I've told you about it before. We buried his body deep in the ground, and his spirit went on to live with Heavenly Father.
Ruby: (crying pretty hard at this point) That is so sad that you guys did that.
Me: Did what?
Ruby: Put him in the ground. Is he all covered in dirt?
Me: No, we put his body in a special box, called a casket.
Ruby: So is he all alone in the ground?
Me: No, not exactly. We put his casket right on top of my mommy's casket, remember? I've told you all about your grandma Pitts, too. So both of their bodies, and their spirits, are together now.
Ruby: So do they have enough room to move around in the ground?
Me: Well, they don't really move around at all, sweetheart. They're bodies are taking a long sleep, until the resurrection, when their spirits and bodies will be able to come together again.
Ruby: So will we get to have Isaac again?
Me: Of course we will.
Ruby: (still crying) But mom, we don't even have any clothes for him, and not even a bed for him to sleep in. This makes me so sad.

Our conversation continued for awhile. I did my best to explain everything to her. But how can you really help a 4 year old comprehend something like that? It was the saddest thing. Her poor little heart was broken. And then mine was too.

I just lay there and held both my kids so tight. And suddenly my problems seemed so insignificant. Who cares if I still have some of my Christmas things up? What does it matter if our suitcases aren't completely unpacked? A cluttered house? Not important. I just lay there in the moment and thought about how these two precious little ones, well...
how they're my everything.