I just thought this scene was too cute. Asher had fallen asleep in John's arms last night during family night, so I thought I'd just let him stay put on the couch (so as not to wake the baby) while I put Ruby to bed. When I came back out to the family room, I found that roles had been reversed. Now John was completely knocked out, while Asher (as wide-eyed as could be) was holding his own head up, and gazing all around the room. So funny.
I can't believe that I forgot about these little treasures. While we were visiting Paul and Amy last month, George and Ruby got into some of Amy's craft paint. John discovered what they had done as he went downstairs and spotted purple paint spots in the hallway. These two were having the time of their lives painting each other. I'll never forget the look on Ruby's face either...I think that she truly believed she was the prettiest person alive with all that purple "makeup"! I was so relived that Amy was such a good sport about it all, because, yes, they weren't so thoughtful as to avoid painting the carpet. All Amy did (through her bursts of laughter), was tell me to run grab my camera. Then a few days later I got this comment from her on my blog...
I am so so happy that I was able to meet Asher yesterday. I love you guys and though I have a contact buzz from the cleaner I am using I am getting the paint out of my carpet :)
Being around Amy has helped me to be a bit more relaxed in life as I strive to roll with the "punches" it gives me.
In keeping with the whole princess theme, I just couldn't resist posting this video clip of my own little princess...naming her princesses.
I have discovered Ruby's passion. Her newest obsession. With it, she is perfectly content, she feels beautiful, she even smiles more. But the moment I mention that it may be taken away due to her unruly behavior, is the very moment her entire world comes crashing down. (I try to avoid making those threats if at all possible...it's just not pretty.) I can also bribe her to do essentially anything by the mere mention that if she act in accordance with my wishes, she will be able to exult in her newly discovered fascination.
I have my dear friend, Rania to thank for this...this...thing that just so happens to be ruling my daughter's life! You see, while we were in Utah to get Asher, Rania and her daughter, Kailey, gave Ruby a Cinderella dress (or as Ruby would say...her ci'rella dwess) and a pair of glass slippers. Little did they know what a hit this gift would be. Seriously, Ruby's entire universe revolves around Cinderella now, and the funny and ironic part about it all, is that we don't even own the movie. In fact, before receiving the dress, I don't think she even knew who Cinderella was...and now?...well...now she thinks she is Cinderella.
She wears the dress to the store, to the Dr. office, to play group...she eats in it, sometimes naps in it, and when she wakes in the morning, it's the first thing she asks for.
And I thought I was doing a lot more laundry due to Asher's incessant spitting.. but no, it's mostly because I'm washing that darn dress everyday so that my sweet little Ruby can continue to muse in her princess dream world. I love being a mom...never a dull moment.
Many have asked how we came up with Asher's name. Was it something we were able to choose ourselves? Did the birth mom name him? Well, to answer your questions...I guess a little of both.
We've liked the name Asher for awhile now. I like it because it's biblical (I've always liked bible names for boys), but not a super common/overused bible name. To be truthful though, we hadn't really considered using this particular name for this baby. We began throwing names around a couple of months before he was born. We scoured the Internet, name books, etc... but nothing seemed right. Nothing jumped out at us. We even asked our birth mom if there were any names in particular that she really loved. (At that point, we felt like we needed all the help we could get.) She gave us a few ideas to think about, and John and I continued bouncing ideas off of each other. It wasn't until we looked up the origin and meaning of the name, that we were finally convinced that this unborn baby was most definitely...an Asher.
The name Asher \a-sher\ is pronounced ASH-er. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "happy" and "blessed". Biblical: Asher, the eighth son of Jacob, was promised a life blessed with abundance.
I also found it interesting as I read the account of Jacob, in the book of Genesis, that Asher's birth mother was actually Zilpah, Leah's handmaiden; yet Leah loved Asher and Gad like her own biological children.
In the short time that we've had our little Asher, we have loved him and cared for him no less than we have our precious Ruby, who is our own biological daughter. To us, the important thing is not how he got to us, but that he's here...with us. He's ours. And oh how "blessed" we are to have him...and oh how "happy" he makes us feel. I know that his birth mother made the decision to place him for adoption with only his "happiness" in mind; and our promise to her is that we will do everything in our power to ensure his "happiness" and teach him the way to live so that his life, like that of the biblical Asher, will be "blessed with abundance".
Jordan was one of the names that Asher's birth mom told us she really liked. When we looked up it's origin and meaning, once again, we just felt that this name would be so appropriate for his middle name.
The name Jordan \j(o)-rdan, jor-dan\ is pronounced JOR-dan. It is of Hebrew origin, and its meaning is "down-flowing". Name of the major river in Palestine, used as a given name since the Crusades.
I liked that there's some consistency between the two names, both being of Hebrew origin. I also love that the name Jordan means "down-flowing", referring obviously, to the river Jordan. We know that Moses was born to a Hebrew mother, but as Pharaoh ordered the execution of all Hebrew baby boys, Moses' birth mom (for his protection and well being) sent him "down a river", and we know that he was found by Pharaoh's daughter, and then "adopted" into the royal Egyptian family. To me, using the name Jordan is just a subtle way of linking Asher's heritage to Moses' (both being adopted) rather than directly naming him Moses.
Plus, I just think it's so neat that Asher's birth mom was able to contribute in choosing his very special name.
I hope that when he's older, he'll love and appreciate his name for the very same reasons that inspired us to choose it.
that's what I am...very spoiled indeed. I have the most amazing friends and family imaginable; sometimes I just feel so undeserving of their love and kindness.
Being that Asher is my second, I wasn't expecting a baby shower, or anything of the sort; but was completely blown away by the two showers that were given in my honor.
While we were in Utah to pick up Asher, my sister Kim had organized a family shower at the Olive Garden. My sisters, sister-in-law, step-sisters, step-mom, and grandma all attended; and Asher and I walked out of there feeling like royalty. I'm so grateful to Kim for thinking up and organizing such a fun evening, to Lynell for footing the bill, and to everyone else for attending and for bringing such darling gifts for my new little king.
Last weekend, my friend, Amber (with the help of several other friends), threw the most amazing baby shower I'm sure I have ever attended. Everything was entirely color coordinated, and perfectly displayed, and superbly thought out...down to every, single, minute detail. I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of time, and work, and energy that went in to making everything so perfect and enjoyable for me and my sweet boy. 
Once again, I'm sure that I have the most amazing friends and family around.
They make me feel so absolutely spoiled...and altogether loved.
Thank You.
Last night John and I took the kids out and went to a few stores. I had been itching to get out all day, but wasn't able to, as it was just one of those days...you know, the kind where it's all you can do to just stay above the water (or the heaps of toys, and mounds of laundry), the kids are crying and upset, you feel like you live in a pigsty, and the day is 3/4 over...but you're still in your pj's? Luckily I managed to pull myself (and my home, and my kids) together just minutes before my husband walked in the door from work...giving the appearance that I just have this whole homemaker, wife, and mother-of-two thing completely under control. Ha.
So, while we were out last night, we stopped into Babies-R-Us to pick up a sleep positioner for Asher. We had been told that allowing your baby to sleep at an incline, will help eliminate some of the harsh effects of acid reflux. We ended up finding something that seemed worth trying, but as it turned out - go figure - he was way too big for it. It was actually quite humorous watching him lie in it...his body spilling out over each end and both sides. Well, needless to say, the thing didn't quite work out, so this morning I loaded the kids in the car, and we headed out to make the "quick" exchange. This is where the fun begins. The store is a good 20-25 minutes away from our house, and it wasn't until we got all the way out there, and parked the car, that I realized I had left the sleep positioner at home! The kids were behaving so well that I found no harm in heading back home to grab it, and then returning to the store. By the time we made it back though, we had spent over an hour in the car...and both kids were sound asleep. I hung out in the parking lot a little while to allow Ruby some additional napping time (wasn't as concerned about Asher...he'll sleep anywhere in that portable bed of his). While I waited, I picked up a diet coke (seems to make everything better), and relished every sip.
That is...until Ruby wakes in a panic, holding herself, and declaring that she needs to go potty. (Yes, I never blogged about it, but Ruby is potty trained, and has been for about two months now.) So I throw open the trunk, grab the double stroller, toss both kids inside, and run like my life depends on it to the restroom. Poor Ruby - bless her little heart, didn't quite make it. I had to strip her down to nothing and steal Asher's blanket to wrap around her until we could get her something to wear. We found a pack of princess panties - which she was thrilled about, a skirt from the clearance rounder, and then exchanged Asher's sleep wedge for something that appeared to be more functional.
I decided after we left, to make a quick stop at Wal-Mart, which happened to share a parking lot with Babies-R-Us. I knew exactly what I needed so we rushed around the store gathering our items, and then headed for home. The whole way home, Ruby tells me that she has to go potty again. I asked her if she could hold it until we got home (at that point we were pretty close, and I just wasn't feeling up for another stop). She said okay, but when we finally got home, and I was finally able to get her to the potty...we were just seconds too late. Once again, poor Ruby - bless her little heart (and poor, poor momma...bless her heart, too). It wasn't until I got her all cleaned up, and began putting away all of our stuff from the day, that it occurred to me that I had left the Wal-Mart bag...at Wal-Mart. Oh boy.
So once again, I load both kids in the car, and we head out to retrieve our abandoned items...knowing that the whole trip will cost us another 45 minutes.
We made it home safe and sound, and before the heavy traffic hit, which was a good sign; but my sanity still hadn't returned to me by that point; because...when we pulled up to the house (for the 3rd and final time), the garage door opener wouldn't work (I guess it had reached it's quota for the day), so I unloaded everything out in the driveway and unlocked the front door so that we could enter the house that way. I took Asher in first thing, and handed Ruby my diet coke to take in while I went back out to retrieve the rest of our loot. I couldn't have been out there more than 30 seconds, and Ruby had managed to spill the entire soda all over the carpet, and all over Asher's infant carrier. I don't even want to think about how the large droplets of coke appeared all over his face...but I have my suspicions.
It was all I could do to keep my cool at this point. And thankfully, I did keep my cool...barely.
When John came home from work (close to two hours later), he handed me my keys which were still dangling from the outside lock of the front door...
yep - totally losing my mind. I guess though, since it's primarily because of these two...
I can't complain. They make it all worth while :)
Little two week old Asher was hospitalized this past weekend. He was diagnosed with an ear infection in each ear, caused by - get this - acid reflux. Because he is so young (too young to have any type of infection at all), the doctors were concerned about the possibility of the bacteria spreading into his bloodstream, spinal column, or brain. To rule out Meningitis (which was a huge concern), they took samples of his blood, urine, and lumbar fluid. Each was cultured over the course of a few days, and then tested for bacteria. They kept us in the hospital while they waited for the test results to come back - which, thankfully, were all negative. During the four days that we were there, they also had him on two antibiotics administered through an IV. It made me so sad to see him be poked and prodded so many times, but he handled everything so well. He slept almost the entire time we were there, which I was so grateful for, as it indicated to me that he probably wasn't in a great deal of pain.
Just after we were discharged, we went to the records department to obtain copies of Asher's medical charts. While we were waiting, a man entered the lobby area and began making small talk with Ruby and me. I watched the man as he admiringly watched our new family of four. As we finally acquired what we needed, and began gathering our things to leave, the man said to us with a smile "you really are blessed, aren't you?". His words resonated in my heart and soul the remainder of that day; and, in fact, have still remained with me.
When bad things happen to us, it seems to be in our nature to focus on the negative, the scary, the unknown...
Amist all the "bad", we often times fail to think of all the "good" that surrounds us. We forget how blessed we truly are. No, it wasn't fun seeing Asher in that hospital bed with an IV poking out of his tiny little arm. But at least, overall he's a happy, healthy baby. And at least he was well cared for by the doctors and nurses. And at least he didn't end up having meningitis. And at least he's feeling better...and he'll be okay...and we got to take him home...and he's our little pride and joy. I really have a lot to thank my Heavenly Father for. That man at the hospital was right...we really are blessed.
A few photos from the hospital...
We now have a girl...and a boy. What more could we ask for?
It's amazing how just adding one more child to the clan makes our family feel so complete - well maybe complete isn't the right word, because we are far from being done - but it suddenly feels to me like we're a real family. There's nothing better than that feeling...knowing that you are part of a special unit of people who love you...and having people to love and care for in return. I can't think of anything better than this "american dream" I am living. I feel so blessed.
but he is not a weak boy.
In fact, today he rolled over for the very first time. I had him on his stomach while I was taking some pictures, and he suddenly, using his arm as leverage, flipped himself over and onto his back. I was stunned...especially since (if I'm remembering right) Ruby was close to five months before she rolled over for the first time.
Something else that has me baffled is that he already sleeps though the night! Last night he slept for 8 1/2 hours straight! Then, after I finally fed him at 7:30 this morning, he fell asleep again for another 4 hours!
He is such a perfect baby, who has already blessed our family in so many ways.
Sweet baby Asher, your momma loves you so much - as do your daddy and big sister...
Perhaps one day you'll understand how uniquely special and truly loved you really are.
We were supposed to sign the papers and be able to take Asher home with us today... but there was a minor setback. Due to our birth mom's rigorous delivery, her doctor decided to keep her in the hospital an extra day. She requested that the baby stay with her until she be discharged. We were totally fine with that, as we have been telling her all along to take as much time as she needs. This whole experience has given me cause to reflect back to the long, black night in which I held my little Isaac's cold, lifeless body. I recall, as if it were yesterday, dreading the moment that I would have to finally let go. I remember how kind the nurses were as they told us we could take as much time as we needed. I probably took more time than they were expecting, but I'm so glad that I wasn't required to hand him over to the undertaker until I was emotionally ready to do so. I knew that I couldn't hold him forever, but it was comforting to know that no one was rushing me into anything. I think that whole experience makes me a little more empathetic towards our birth mom and what she is momentarily going through. In many ways it must feel to her like I'm the undertaker coming to take her baby away. I hope that today she was able to feel like she was given the time that she needed. She was so sweet to invite us to come back to the hospital and visit for a while. We took Ruby so that she could finally meet her baby brother, as we've been talking him up for months. She was in complete awe with his every feature.
I got the biggest rush as I held both my children in my lap, and watched as my daughter studied my son's face, and then his hands, on down to his tiny little feet (which in reality are huge!).
I know that Ruby will be such a wonderful big sister. We have been doing our best to prepare her for the changes that will be taking place, and I have a feeling she will do just fine. I'm excited for what the future holds. I'm excited for the events and changes that will be happening over the next few days and weeks. But most of all, I'm just excited for tomorrow to finally be able to take our beautiful, perfect, and long awaited, baby boy...home.
This last one was too sweet to not post. I thought it was so touching to watch John with his little son.
our newest addition...
Asher Jordan
All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't have to push out that 10lb 10oz, 22 inch long baby...I literally don't think I could have done it. Asher's birth mom is my newest hero. I love and respect her so much, and feel forever indebted to her for her selfless sacrifice. She gave us a gift today that only God himself can give. She is by far one of the most Christ-like people I know.
My heart is full to overflowing with joy, and gratitude, and excitement, and anticipation to be the mother of this perfect baby boy; but also it aches for the beautiful girl who carried our child for 9 months, and who labored for 17 hours, and who exerted everything she had (and then some) to deliver an 11 pound baby. And who, in less than 24 hours will be kissing him goodbye, and then walking away from him forever. Tonight all the honor goes to her. May God bless her, and keep her, and wrap his loving arms around her.
I snapped this shot a couple of weeks ago. Ruby had climbed inside of this giant basket and then proposed something rather unexpected..."let's go on a trip, mom and dad!" she declared.
My dear Ruby, how I would love to take you to see the whole wide world...but for now, all I can offer you is an oversized wicker basket in which to sit and make believe.
One day we shall see it all...
I love having a blog. I love the freedom it allows me to just be me. This is my own little space, my own little platform, to talk about whatever I want. I can complain if I want to (although most the time I choose not to...not here at least), I can express my fears and my sorrows, or the things that bring me the most joy and happiness. I love to express my feelings about my faith and my Savior because those things make up a big chunk of who I am. Here I can dote on my daughter as much as I want to, and I can brag about all the fun we have together, too. Really, if it's on my mind (and appropriate to share)...you'll probably find it here, on my blog.
Today I think I'll use my blog to do some plugging for John. One of the things that I admire most about John is his work ethic. When I first met his mom, she began telling me how John, ever since he was a small child, has always put 110% into everything he does. It didn't take very long for me to find that out for myself. Whether it's his calling at church, or his role as a husband and father, or even if he's just playing on a softball league...John puts his all into everything he does. I've been so proud of him since we made this move to Arizona. I know it's not easy to start over in a completely foreign industry; but we felt good about this particular career change, even if it meant having to move away from everything that we knew and loved in Utah. It's been almost two years since John began working with his dad and brother in the insurance business; and honestly, I couldn't be more proud of the things that he has learned, and the way in which he has contributed to building up the business, and providing for our family.
Recently, John was responsible for implementing a new product that is awesome for anyone thinking about getting pregnant. Basically, it's supplemental coverage that helps you pay for what your primary (and secondary) health plans don't cover. This supplemental insurance will give you the cash needed to pay for your deductible and co-payments, and in most instances, after you have paid off all of your bills from your delivery and hospital stay, you will have excess cash (we're talking thousands) to use however you wish! The only catch is, you have to have this coverage in place at least 10 months before you deliver your baby. So just to be safe, you should wait to get pregnant at least a couple of months after signing up. We actually applied for this coverage a few years ago, but then had to cancel, because, unbeknownst to us, I was already pregnant with Isaac! So sad. At the same time, we had told some of our friends about it, so they singed up, got pregnant shortly after...and nine months later (after the birth of their son), they got a check for like 7 grand! It really is a no brainer! Everyone should be doing this! If you're interested, let me know (leave a comment or email me at nicoleeagleston@yahoo.com) and I can make sure John gets you all the information you need. Plus he will do a much better job of explaining exactly how it works, and discussing which plan would be best for your individual needs and situation. He works in all 50 states, too, so it doesn't really matter where you live.
This really is the best thing since sliced bread...I mean really, what woman doesn't deserve a few extra grand...especially after delivering a baby? :)
Ruby is so funny. Tonight she dressed us each in a pair of her little tiny dolly shoes (they would only fit on our big toes), and then wanted us all to go bye bye. John and I thought it was hilarious, but to her it wasn't the least bit funny. To her, it made complete sense. One day she'll understand that shoes are not to be worn on one's toes, just as John's work shirts are not "daddy's dresses", his briefcase is not "daddy's purse", and his wedding band is not "daddy's earring".
For now, we just play along; and love that she is always keeping us on our toes...literally.
One of the hardest things about making the move to Arizona, was the thought of being so far away from the resting place of our firstborn. We know that he's not really there, but it feels good to be able to have a place to go and visit, and reminisce, and celebrate, and dream, and hope, and also to just empty our tears...
To lessen the pain of being so far away, we decided that every year on Isaac's birthday, we'd come back to that special place, and have a little memorial/birthday party in his honor. Sadly, for a number of reasons, we weren't able to make it up this year. Our hearts were broken because we wouldn't be there to commemorate his 3rd birthday. However, we did the best we could, being 700 miles away, to honor and remember him that day. John made a birthday cake, and the three of us sang Happy Birthday to him. Then, after putting Ruby down for the night, we pulled his special box down from one of the shelves in the garage and rummaged through all the painful memories and broken dreams. The little outfits that we had excitedly purchased when we found out we were having a boy. The baseball decorations that would adorn his nursery. The pajamas with matching cap and blanket from grandma Judy. The teeny tiny shoes that grammy and grandpa Pitts had given us as a congratulatory gesture. The giraffe blanket that we paid way too much money for...
And then the scraps from the satin white blanket that we buried him in, and photos of us holding him in our arms, and the guestbook from his funeral, and copies of his obituary, and the tonka truck and baseball that were left on his headstone for his (would be) first birthday...and all the other painful reminders...reminders that he's not here. In that box we also found a cassette tape of his graveside service. It had been 3 years since we had listened to it so we went out and played it in the car (the only tape deck that we have), and cried, and cried, and cried as we remembered all too clearly the day we placed his body into the cold hard ground. I remember during that time feeling like I would never be able to smile again. I literally felt like my world had come crashing down, and that it would never be the same again. Well, although I have gone on to enjoy life, and to smile, and laugh; I was right about one thing...my world isn't the same as it was before. That very event changed the course of my life forever...but it changed for the better. I know that I am the person I am today because of the trials that I have experienced. They have made me better, and stronger, and more able to empathize with others who are hurting from a loss in their lives. Plus, the thought of being able to raise our Isaac someday, makes me want to try harder, love deeper, live fuller, and be better in every way.
Because we weren't able to make it up to the grave this year, our families made a point to go in our stead. My dad and step mom went up on his birthday, along with three of my sisters, my brother-in-law, and nephew. John's mom, two brothers, sister-in-law, and two nephews, went up the following day to pay their respects. I can't even express how grateful I am to have such loving and supportive families. My dad was literally a rock and pillar to us all during the days and weeks before and after our loss. John's brother, Paul, did so much, too. My mother-in-law put over two thousand miles on her car during the two weeks that I was hospitalized, driving to and from Provo and Salt Lake. Our siblings came and visited, brought gifts, offered prayers, provided words of encouragement and hope, smiled for us, cried with us. I couldn't have made it though those couple of weeks without the love and support of our families. And still, three years later, I am so grateful for everything they did, and continue to do for us.
My dad and sister, Kim, have been learning to play the bagpipes for the past two years now, so last week when they visited the grave, they played together in Isaac's honor. They filmed the whole thing for us, and sent a copy of the DVD. I was in tears as I watched their beautiful offering to us and to our son. I hope that as you watch it, you will be touched as well. I added some pictures from some of our previous graveside celebrations and put them to a beautiful song written by John's cousin, Lauri. The song is entitled Thinking of You from her album, A Mother's Heart, and was dedicated to the memory of our little Isaac Joshua.
Ruby showing John the moon
I love spending time with my little Ruby. She is at an age where she is really starting to discover the world around her. She is constantly pointing out her surroundings. It's especially fun now that she's talking so much, because she points to something and then in the most excited little tone, she tells us what it is. I'm surprised by how much she knows, without having taught her myself. I especially love taking her outside. She is so observant and so fascinated with nature and wildlife. She notices the trees and the flowers, the birds and the sun. She even loves and appreciates being caught in the rain. The other day we were out and about, when it just completely started pouring down on us. I'll have to admit, I was a little put out by it, but not Ruby. She raised her hands high above her head and declared "water! momma! water!", with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. Being with her makes me realize how truly grateful I am for our surroundings, and to live in such a beautiful world. Too often I go about my business without even giving a thought to all the wonderments around me. Too often I take them for granted and forget to stop for a moment to enjoy, and to be thankful. I'm grateful to my little Ruby for teaching me to slow down, to notice, to appreciate, to relish...
Because when I do, I am overwhelmed with the love of my Savior, and with gratitude for Him for creating something so beautiful...for me. How anyone could behold so many breathtaking colors dispersed across the sky with the rising and falling of the sun, or observe as the powerful ocean waves crash upon the shoreline, or study the moon and the stars and how they light up the night's sky, or examine the vein-like patterns and spirals and details contained in one single petal of one single flower, or regard a bird building a nest, or a spider it's web, or lie in the grass under a giant shade tree... and not feel gratitude in their hearts is beyond me. And how anyone could behold these things, and not believe in God, baffles my mind. For I have always loved the words of Alma to the antichrist, Korihor, who - when Korihor asked him to send him a sign of God's existence - responded "...all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and it's motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."
I'm glad that I have a two year old who is just now discovering the world; because it gives me a chance to discover it all over again...through her eyes.
American Idols Live! 2008 tour debuted last night...here in Arizona!
John gave me tickets for my birthday back in May, so we had to wait awhile, but it was well worth the wait. It was amazing! Each performer (starting with the bottom) sang three songs, and then the top two finalists (the David's) each sang four or five. Throughout the whole show, only two group numbers were performed, which was okay by me...that way each person's unique talent and sound were really showcased. I was amazed at how well everyone did. Seriously, they all sounded AWESOME!
The best part about the night, was that I got to spend it with John. I love spending time like this with him, and I love that he's always planning things for us to do and enjoy together....things that keep our marriage fun and alive.
I regret that I didn't get any good pictures during the sets (we were just too far away), but I did find this on youtube...
That little David...he's just amazing.
I also managed to have a little fun spelling our names in the lights with my camera...
Not too bad, eh?
