introducing

our newest addition...

Asher Jordan

All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't have to push out that 10lb 10oz, 22 inch long baby...I literally don't think I could have done it. Asher's birth mom is my newest hero. I love and respect her so much, and feel forever indebted to her for her selfless sacrifice. She gave us a gift today that only God himself can give. She is by far one of the most Christ-like people I know.
My heart is full to overflowing with joy, and gratitude, and excitement, and anticipation to be the mother of this perfect baby boy; but also it aches for the beautiful girl who carried our child for 9 months, and who labored for 17 hours, and who exerted everything she had (and then some) to deliver an 11 pound baby. And who, in less than 24 hours will be kissing him goodbye, and then walking away from him forever. Tonight all the honor goes to her. May God bless her, and keep her, and wrap his loving arms around her.

let's go on a trip...

I snapped this shot a couple of weeks ago. Ruby had climbed inside of this giant basket and then proposed something rather unexpected..."let's go on a trip, mom and dad!" she declared.

My dear Ruby, how I would love to take you to see the whole wide world...but for now, all I can offer you is an oversized wicker basket in which to sit and make believe.

One day we shall see it all...

i'm alive...and nesting

I just got a call from one of my best and closest friends in Utah. I guess due to my recent respite from blogging, she became worried that something was seriously wrong. Well, in case anyone else might be wondering (or worrying), I'll assure you that things are just fine...in fact, they couldn't be better. Our little son will be born in three weeks, and with that event just around the corner, I've acutely experienced the nesting instinct. I always thought that tendency was reserved only for hormonal pregnant women, expecting their own biological children. But the past few weeks, John and I have proved that theory wrong through our late night organizing sessions, furniture rearranging parties, organizer purchasing outings, cupboard cleaning and clearing celebrations, and baseboard scrubbing bouts. We've even had to part ways with some of our favorite things...all in an effort to prepare a place for our sweet baby boy. During the process of moving our furniture, our wireless connection was disturbed, and we've been without the Internet for about two weeks. Every once in a while I can steal a signal from our neighbor (that's how I was able to do this post), but then, before I know it, it's gone again. We have a repairman coming out on Friday.

So no worries, I still love blogging...and I've missed it like crazy...and I have a lot to catch up on...and I'll be back in no time. :)

Thanks for your concern. Love you all.

who couldn't use a little more of this?

I love having a blog. I love the freedom it allows me to just be me. This is my own little space, my own little platform, to talk about whatever I want. I can complain if I want to (although most the time I choose not to...not here at least), I can express my fears and my sorrows, or the things that bring me the most joy and happiness. I love to express my feelings about my faith and my Savior because those things make up a big chunk of who I am. Here I can dote on my daughter as much as I want to, and I can brag about all the fun we have together, too. Really, if it's on my mind (and appropriate to share)...you'll probably find it here, on my blog.

Today I think I'll use my blog to do some plugging for John. One of the things that I admire most about John is his work ethic. When I first met his mom, she began telling me how John, ever since he was a small child, has always put 110% into everything he does. It didn't take very long for me to find that out for myself. Whether it's his calling at church, or his role as a husband and father, or even if he's just playing on a softball league...John puts his all into everything he does. I've been so proud of him since we made this move to Arizona. I know it's not easy to start over in a completely foreign industry; but we felt good about this particular career change, even if it meant having to move away from everything that we knew and loved in Utah. It's been almost two years since John began working with his dad and brother in the insurance business; and honestly, I couldn't be more proud of the things that he has learned, and the way in which he has contributed to building up the business, and providing for our family.

Recently, John was responsible for implementing a new product that is awesome for anyone thinking about getting pregnant. Basically, it's supplemental coverage that helps you pay for what your primary (and secondary) health plans don't cover. This supplemental insurance will give you the cash needed to pay for your deductible and co-payments, and in most instances, after you have paid off all of your bills from your delivery and hospital stay, you will have excess cash (we're talking thousands) to use however you wish! The only catch is, you have to have this coverage in place at least 10 months before you deliver your baby. So just to be safe, you should wait to get pregnant at least a couple of months after signing up. We actually applied for this coverage a few years ago, but then had to cancel, because, unbeknownst to us, I was already pregnant with Isaac! So sad. At the same time, we had told some of our friends about it, so they singed up, got pregnant shortly after...and nine months later (after the birth of their son), they got a check for like 7 grand! It really is a no brainer! Everyone should be doing this! If you're interested, let me know (leave a comment or email me at nicoleeagleston@yahoo.com) and I can make sure John gets you all the information you need. Plus he will do a much better job of explaining exactly how it works, and discussing which plan would be best for your individual needs and situation. He works in all 50 states, too, so it doesn't really matter where you live.
This really is the best thing since sliced bread...I mean really, what woman doesn't deserve a few extra grand...especially after delivering a baby? :)

tiny dancer...

Ruby is so funny. Tonight she dressed us each in a pair of her little tiny dolly shoes (they would only fit on our big toes), and then wanted us all to go bye bye. John and I thought it was hilarious, but to her it wasn't the least bit funny. To her, it made complete sense. One day she'll understand that shoes are not to be worn on one's toes, just as John's work shirts are not "daddy's dresses", his briefcase is not "daddy's purse", and his wedding band is not "daddy's earring".

For now, we just play along; and love that she is always keeping us on our toes...literally.

always thinking of you...

One of the hardest things about making the move to Arizona, was the thought of being so far away from the resting place of our firstborn. We know that he's not really there, but it feels good to be able to have a place to go and visit, and reminisce, and celebrate, and dream, and hope, and also to just empty our tears...
To lessen the pain of being so far away, we decided that every year on Isaac's birthday, we'd come back to that special place, and have a little memorial/birthday party in his honor. Sadly, for a number of reasons, we weren't able to make it up this year. Our hearts were broken because we wouldn't be there to commemorate his 3rd birthday. However, we did the best we could, being 700 miles away, to honor and remember him that day. John made a birthday cake, and the three of us sang Happy Birthday to him. Then, after putting Ruby down for the night, we pulled his special box down from one of the shelves in the garage and rummaged through all the painful memories and broken dreams. The little outfits that we had excitedly purchased when we found out we were having a boy. The baseball decorations that would adorn his nursery. The pajamas with matching cap and blanket from grandma Judy. The teeny tiny shoes that grammy and grandpa Pitts had given us as a congratulatory gesture. The giraffe blanket that we paid way too much money for...
And then the scraps from the satin white blanket that we buried him in, and photos of us holding him in our arms, and the guestbook from his funeral, and copies of his obituary, and the tonka truck and baseball that were left on his headstone for his (would be) first birthday...and all the other painful reminders...reminders that he's not here. In that box we also found a cassette tape of his graveside service. It had been 3 years since we had listened to it so we went out and played it in the car (the only tape deck that we have), and cried, and cried, and cried as we remembered all too clearly the day we placed his body into the cold hard ground. I remember during that time feeling like I would never be able to smile again. I literally felt like my world had come crashing down, and that it would never be the same again. Well, although I have gone on to enjoy life, and to smile, and laugh; I was right about one thing...my world isn't the same as it was before. That very event changed the course of my life forever...but it changed for the better. I know that I am the person I am today because of the trials that I have experienced. They have made me better, and stronger, and more able to empathize with others who are hurting from a loss in their lives. Plus, the thought of being able to raise our Isaac someday, makes me want to try harder, love deeper, live fuller, and be better in every way.

Because we weren't able to make it up to the grave this year, our families made a point to go in our stead. My dad and step mom went up on his birthday, along with three of my sisters, my brother-in-law, and nephew. John's mom, two brothers, sister-in-law, and two nephews, went up the following day to pay their respects. I can't even express how grateful I am to have such loving and supportive families. My dad was literally a rock and pillar to us all during the days and weeks before and after our loss. John's brother, Paul, did so much, too. My mother-in-law put over two thousand miles on her car during the two weeks that I was hospitalized, driving to and from Provo and Salt Lake. Our siblings came and visited, brought gifts, offered prayers, provided words of encouragement and hope, smiled for us, cried with us. I couldn't have made it though those couple of weeks without the love and support of our families. And still, three years later, I am so grateful for everything they did, and continue to do for us.
My dad and sister, Kim, have been learning to play the bagpipes for the past two years now, so last week when they visited the grave, they played together in Isaac's honor. They filmed the whole thing for us, and sent a copy of the DVD. I was in tears as I watched their beautiful offering to us and to our son. I hope that as you watch it, you will be touched as well. I added some pictures from some of our previous graveside celebrations and put them to a beautiful song written by John's cousin, Lauri. The song is entitled Thinking of You from her album, A Mother's Heart, and was dedicated to the memory of our little Isaac Joshua.

I also want to thank so many of our dear friends for sharing in our pain and sorrow, and for being there to ease our burdens. Bryce and Diana made us a CD of the graveside service so we never again will have to go out to our car to listen to it. Thanks you guys. We love you.

Also, we have a wonderful friend from the ward we were in at the time, who wrote this poem for us just after our loss. I read it often as it brings me so much comfort and peace.

Within a hushed and tranquil bower

through hue and scent of peaceful flower,

and under watchful Father's care

walks your Angel bright and fair.

And sometimes, dances in the sunlight,

joyful face turned upward in delight.

But, often, on bended knees,

as loving Father hears and sees,

prays you'll feel peace, your fears depart

within the garden of your heart.

-L. George

I had never thought about this before...that for as many times as we have prayed for our sweet Isaac, he is most likely praying for us too.

God bless, our sweet little Isaac...oh how we love and miss you.

our all-american day...

I love the 4th of July and everything it represents for our country. I feel so blessed to live in such a choice land - full of opportunity, privileges, and countless freedoms. I often wonder what I ever did to be able to claim this - the promised land - the place of my birth...especially when I think about how many people are trying to get here, and what they will, and have sacrificed, just to get a chance. It's humbling...and my heart is filled with gratitude.
Not only do I love this particular holiday for the aforementioned reasons, but I also love the secular traditions that surround this day. I love how our activities, and even our food are so reminiscent of feel-good americana.

Here's just an outline of our day. If you ask me, it really doesn't get much more all-american than this.

7:30-9:00 ward breakfast...pancakes, bacon, watermelon, and OJ
10:00-12:30 swimming...it was wonderful, we had the pool completely to ourselves :)
12:30-2:00 lunch at Johnny Rockets...cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, cokes, and strawberry milk shakes
2:00-4:00 home for naps
5:00-8:00 BBQ with family...all the usual bbq stuff...hamburgers, hot dogs, fruit, chips, pasta salad, 7 layer dip, strawberry lemonade, and homemade ice cream
8:30-10:00 fireworks at the community college

Ruby and John enjoying the fireworks

I just realized, and had to laugh, at how much of this holiday (and all holidays) really is centered around food. And this year was no exception...as we literally ate half the day away!

Watching the fireworks this year was so much more bearable than last year, mainly because of the difference in climate. Last year I was dripping sweat at 10:00 at night because it was still 108 degrees! This year, it was a perfect 95 degrees, with a beautiful breeze. It's amazing to me at what a difference just 13 degrees can make. It was so much more enjoyable.

In retrospect, I guess the only thing that would have culminated our all-american experience, would have been hitting up a diamondback's ball game. Oh well, you just can't do it all. As it was, at the end of the day, we were completely wiped out...as one can tell from this photo...


Ruby and momma relaxin' during the fireworks

rediscovering the world...

Ruby showing John the moon

I love spending time with my little Ruby. She is at an age where she is really starting to discover the world around her. She is constantly pointing out her surroundings. It's especially fun now that she's talking so much, because she points to something and then in the most excited little tone, she tells us what it is. I'm surprised by how much she knows, without having taught her myself. I especially love taking her outside. She is so observant and so fascinated with nature and wildlife. She notices the trees and the flowers, the birds and the sun. She even loves and appreciates being caught in the rain. The other day we were out and about, when it just completely started pouring down on us. I'll have to admit, I was a little put out by it, but not Ruby. She raised her hands high above her head and declared "water! momma! water!", with one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. Being with her makes me realize how truly grateful I am for our surroundings, and to live in such a beautiful world. Too often I go about my business without even giving a thought to all the wonderments around me. Too often I take them for granted and forget to stop for a moment to enjoy, and to be thankful. I'm grateful to my little Ruby for teaching me to slow down, to notice, to appreciate, to relish...
Because when I do, I am overwhelmed with the love of my Savior, and with gratitude for Him for creating something so beautiful...for me. How anyone could behold so many breathtaking colors dispersed across the sky with the rising and falling of the sun, or observe as the powerful ocean waves crash upon the shoreline, or study the moon and the stars and how they light up the night's sky, or examine the vein-like patterns and spirals and details contained in one single petal of one single flower, or regard a bird building a nest, or a spider it's web, or lie in the grass under a giant shade tree... and not feel gratitude in their hearts is beyond me. And how anyone could behold these things, and not believe in God, baffles my mind. For I have always loved the words of Alma to the antichrist, Korihor, who - when Korihor asked him to send him a sign of God's existence - responded "...all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and it's motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."
I'm glad that I have a two year old who is just now discovering the world; because it gives me a chance to discover it all over again...through her eyes.

the long awaited...

American Idols Live! 2008 tour debuted last night...here in Arizona!



John gave me tickets for my birthday back in May, so we had to wait awhile, but it was well worth the wait. It was amazing! Each performer (starting with the bottom) sang three songs, and then the top two finalists (the David's) each sang four or five. Throughout the whole show, only two group numbers were performed, which was okay by me...that way each person's unique talent and sound were really showcased. I was amazed at how well everyone did. Seriously, they all sounded AWESOME!

The best part about the night, was that I got to spend it with John. I love spending time like this with him, and I love that he's always planning things for us to do and enjoy together....things that keep our marriage fun and alive.

I regret that I didn't get any good pictures during the sets (we were just too far away), but I did find this on youtube...

That little David...he's just amazing.

I also managed to have a little fun spelling our names in the lights with my camera...



Not too bad, eh?

have you ever read the entire book of mormon...

in 2 1/2 days?


The entire group (except me and Brother Parker)

This past weekend we had youth conference with the young men and women of our ward...and we did just that - we read the entire Book of Mormom, from cover to cover, in 2.5 days! We arrived at the cabin in Pinetop, (which was about a three hour drive), around 12:30 in the afternoon. We quickly unpacked, set up our camping chairs, and began our reading session. Each person was given their own Book of Mormon, marking pencil, and bag to keep their goodies in. Every 1/2 hour or so, we had some kind of diversion that went along with what we had been reading. Some of the diversions consisted of having a physical challenge, singing a hymn, getting a treat, and/or answering a trivia question for a prize. That first day we read, (pretty much only breaking for meals), until 10:00 pm...only to have to start again, at the crack of dawn on Friday. Friday was a long day. We had to have mostly the fast readers reading because we got started later than planned, and had fallen behind schedule. We read from 7:30 in the morning until 11:00 PM...once again, only breaking for meals. We finally were able to finish the 3rd day, at about 3:30 PM. I know that at times the kids (and even we, leaders) became distracted, or too tired to follow along (Sis Tuckett and I stayed awake the entire time though), or bored; but there were other times in which the Spirit permeated the entire room, and the hearts and souls of all those who sought it out and had a true desire to feel it. I don't think I have ever had such a powerful experience while reading the Book of Mormom. It was amazing. And wonderful. And really impossible to fully describe the feeling that came over my entire body and soul. The accounts were more real to me than ever before. The pages, and the people, and their experiences, and dealings, came to life for me. The part that especially touched me was when Christ came to His people in the American continent. He taught them, and blessed them, and prayed for (and with) them. I can't begin to express the love that came over me as we read those pages. I know my Savior lives. I love the Book of Mormon, because it teaches us about Him. We can really learn about Him, gain a testimony of Him, and come to know Him as our personal Savior and friend, by reading the Book of Mormon...for it truly testifies of Him. I will never forget the amazing experience it was, the tender mercies that we witnessed, the spirit that we felt, the love that was exhibited, and the things that we learned, as we read the Book of Mormon together...in 2 1/2 days.


Just as the savior has our names graven on the palms of his hands (1 Nephi 21:16), we were asked to write something on our palm (some wrote on their wrists) that would serve as a reminder of how the Savior loves us.


here we are displaying our palms and wrists


reading the second day


Reading Mosiah 18 by the lake (Alma baptizes at the waters of Mormon).


Alma 3: 4-19 The wicked Amlicites marked themselves...likewise a few of us, marked ourselves.



Alma 19:16-29 Abish makes an appearance...and look who was lucky enough to play Abish :)





Just as the Anti-Nephi-Lehies (Alma 24:1-19; 27:28-29) buried their weapons of war and covenanted to never again shed blood...we also buried our swords, and covenanted to give up something in our lives that may have been distancing us from our Savior.




Four boys acting as the Zoramites on the Rameumptom (Alma 31)


Bishop acting as The prophet Alma as he counsels with his three missionary sons (Alma 36-42)


Moroni (Alma 46) also makes an appearance, and holds up a customized Title of Liberty with a challenge for all of us to complete the Book of Mormon over the three days of youth conference.


Everyone covenanted to do so by signing the title of liberty.


Our "end of Alma" party.


More from the "end of Alma" party.


The aftermath of the "end of Alma" party.


Everyone wore blindfolds during 3 Nephi 8-11, to represent the darkness that covered the land for three days.


We did it!

"The Book of Mormon will change your life. It will fortify you against the evils of our day. It will bring spirituality into your life that no other book will. It will be the most important book you will read in preparation for a mission and for life. A young man or woman who knows and loves the Book of Mormon, who has read it several times, who has an abiding testimony of its truthfulness and who applies its teachings will be able to stand against the wiles of the devil and that youth will be a mighty tool in the hands of the Lord."
(Pres. Benson, To the youth of the Noble Birthright, Ensign, May 1986)

hard day...

If Isaac had lived, he'd be three today. I still can't believe it was three years ago. Three years ago that I gave birth to our first born son. Three years ago that we bathed him, and dressed him, and wrapped his tiny little body in a tiny blue blanket. Three years ago that we held his lifeless body in our arms. Three years ago that we had to said goodbye...
Three years isn't that long, but it seems like an eternity when you have to be separated from someone you love. People always say that life goes by in the blink of an eye, and that this mortal life is so minuscule when compared to eternity; and although I believe these things to be true, they don't make the passing of our son any easier to bear. I still think about him all the time. My arms still ache to hold him. I still wonder what our life would be like if he had made it. I still miss him. And sometimes - days like today - the feeling of longing is ever more present, and evident, and intense, and painful. Days like today - his birthday - are hard. I'm just so grateful for my Savior. I love Him, and know that it's because of Him and His glorious gospel plan that we are able to be with our loved ones again. John and I anxiously await the day that we will be reunited with our sweet angel boy; but until then, we need to continue to do everything in our power to ensure that we are worthy of that blessing.

Just a little tribute to our dear little Isaac Joshua...until we shall meet him again.


Isaac's Lullaby - Angel Lent To Us was written and sung at Isaac's funeral by our sister-in-law, Leigh.

i hope she loves her baby brother...

as much as she loves her baby doll.



Ruby has been so darling with her dolly the past couple of weeks. She refuses to go anywhere unless baby gets to come, too. For example, baby sits in a chair across from Ruby during meals, baby comes to the pool with us and watches Ruby swim, baby accompanies us to the grocery store, and to the mall. When Ruby goes down for her nap, baby goes down, too. When Ruby watches a movie on our bed, you can bet that baby is lying right by her side. Ruby makes sure that baby always has her binky at hand, and the other day I even caught her giving baby a drink of milk from her sippy cup.
It's wonderful for me to watch how loving and nurturing she can be as she cares for her own little baby.





Now my hope is that she will employ that same energy and passion in loving and nurturing her new baby brother.

hi my name is ryan...

This past weekend, John and I were able to take a mini trip to see his brother Paul's documentary entitled Hi My Name Is Ryan, which debuted at CineVegas, a film festival held annually in Las Vegas. The whole experience, for us, was both enjoyable and unforgettable. From the unique, creative, heartwarming, and inspiring film, to seeing Paul and Amy on the red carpet, to the celebrity sightings, to the after-party put on by the filmmakers and executive producer (Paul and his cousins) - held in a penthouse suite at the Palms. The place was exuding excitement and energy. It was such a fun experience to be able to view the documentary along with many of Ryan's family members and friends who appeared in the film. I think they all loved it. We went to both showings, and I loved being there for the Q&A afterwards. It was great to hear all the positive feedback and praise from the other viewers. The entire time I was just beaming with pride to have such a cool and talented brother-in-law. I know that Paul and Stephen have worked really hard on this documentary, which has been almost two years in the making, and I hope so bad that the film gets picked up by one of the buyers who attended the premiere.

Just a few highlights from our incredibly fun and amazing weekend...


Some of the film's cast and crew members

Paul on the red carpet

Paul and Stephen (the filmmakers), with Michael (the executive producer) in the middle...all three cousins

Paul and my beautiful sister-in-law Amy

Some of Ryan's friends and fellow band members from the film

John and I also managed to get an "unofficial" red carpet shot while no one was looking

And some of our celebrity sightings...

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...notice how he's sort of smiling for our picture :)

Dennis Hopper and some random fan

Robin Leach

and finally last, but certainly not least...

Morgan Spurlock from the documentary Super Size Me. We didn't actually get a picture of him, but he walked right past us as we were sitting at McDonald's in the food court...pretty much stuffing our own faces with french fries. Needless to say, we felt pretty ridiculous sitting there at McDonald's of all places.

missing my girl...

It's amazing how only a day or two apart from someone you love...can feel like an eternity. And it's amazing to me that all the little things that might have previously upset you, or bothered you, about that person - are the very things you would welcome, in a heartbeat, if it meant that you could see that person again, soon. They seem to be the very things you actually...miss.
John and I went to Las Vegas for the weekend to support his brother, Paul, whose film premiered at the CineVegas film festival...(which deserves it's very own blog post). We left Ruby with our friends Ben and Lindsay, or as Ruby would say Ben and Nancy. (It's so funny to hear her say Lindsay...it really does sound just like Nancy.) So anyway, I was surprised by how much I missed her and couldn't wait to get home to see her. She was already asleep by the time we got home to pick her up, and as hard as I tried to rouse her, she just wasn't having it. We put her in our bed hoping to get some good snuggle time in with her, but she was in a complete comatose state, and didn't even move or budge until 9:00 this morning. John had already left to go to work, so I was the only one there to greet her when she did finally open her eyes...and then she welcomed me with the biggest, most beautiful smile I have ever seen. There are not words sufficient to adequately convey the love I feel for this little girl.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder; and that old adage has never rung more true for me, than it did this weekend...missing my girl.

there was a little girl...

who had a little curl,
right in the middle of her forehead.
when she was good,
she was very, very good,
but when she bad she was horrid.
-Longfellow

This poem perfectly describes my sweet - yet defiant - two year old, who, quite literally entered the "terrible twos"...the very day she turned two. Sometimes she's so sweet I can hardly stand it. Like when she prays. Just this morning, after thanking Heavenly Father for the food, and asking Him to bless it, she then (all on her own, and in the most irresistible little angelic voice) said "bwess Rae mission...bwess baby bruder...name Jesus Christ...amen". I couldn't believe that she said the entire prayer all on her own, and that she remembered to pray for such important things as her aunt who is serving a mission in Minnesota, and her new baby brother who will join our family in August. So it goes without saying that it was completely mind boggling to me how in just a matter of minutes, she turned into a loud, whiny, demanding, exacting, impolite and impatient, little turd (for lack of a better word)...begging and crying (screaming, rather) for more cereal.

One minute she's happy, laughy, cuddly, cooperative, and as polite as ever...and then the next, she's spitting, or attempting to tear her shirt off, or punching herself in the face, or kicking her flip flops off, or chucking her binky across the room, or trying to pull my hair out, or throwing herself on the floor...and then banging her head against it. I try not to laugh when she acts this way, but sometimes I just can't help it because it's beyond ridiculous, and doesn't even seem real. However, the laughing just intensifies everything, as does my reproving, and protesting. I've found that it's better to just walk away from her, and know that within a minute or two, she'll have her arms wrapped tight around my legs, and then she'll reach up and ask "hold you mommy?"...after which I'll pick her up in my arms, she'll plant a big ol' kiss on my lips, wrap her arms around my neck, and finally, while gently patting my back, she'll say, (again, in that irresistible little angelic voice of hers) "love you, mommy"...

happens nine times out of ten :)

Gotta love those horribly horrific, yet terribly terrific...twos!

she'll never be one again...

John and I decided that we probably wouldn't have a party for Ruby's 2nd birthday. Mostly because of the work that goes into having one, and also because she's still probably too young to really appreciate it. We decided, instead, to just take her out to some of her favorite places, let her eat her favorite foods, and do some of her favorite things...just the three of us.

The first thing we did was greet her in the morning with the very special, and very familiar, Happy Birthday song. I think she was a little confused in the beginning, but it didn't take her too long to absolutely love being the birthday girl. She was so excited to see the decorated table, which was loaded with presents, and couldn't wait to get her little hands on the bite-size cupcakes that mom had been baking for the occasion. She really loved all of her presents, but as one can often expect with children, it's usually the least expensive, afterthought of a gift, that turns out to be their favorite. Such was the case with Ruby. It wasn't her new Tricycle, or her ladybug sandbox that generated the most excitement, but her very own set of keys which dangled from her very own, neon-green key chain! Lately, if we go anywhere, she always insists on carrying our keys for us. I usually don't have a problem with her holding them, but it always turns into a problem when I need to get them back to be able to start the car. So needless to say, the idea of finally having her very own set, was a total hit. In fact, she carried them around with her the entire day.
After John left for work, my friend Diana came over. She brought her beautiful week-old daughter Emaline, and Ava - who just so happens to be Ruby's best friend. These two were out of control. It was fun for me to watch them run, and scream, and chase each other, and sing songs together, and play with balloons, and drink from matching sippy cups. I'm so grateful that Ruby has Ava, and that the two of them were able to play together on her special day.

At lunch time, we went to John's office, where Ruby relished in the fact that she was the center of attention. She opened her birthday card from Grandpa Jerry, showed off her new keys, gave everyone hugs, and even sent uncle Rob to his "room" (office). John and I then took her to McDonald's for lunch, where we watched her play on the playground, and also ordered her her very coke!

After she took a nice nap, we were off again. We headed out to Scottsdale, and made our first stop at Sprinkles, where Ruby got to pick out two cupcakes...one for now & one for later. We then took her to the Railroad park that my friend, Celeste, introduced us to a while back. It honestly, couldn't have been more perfect! We were literally the only ones in the entire park, and the weather was absolutely beautiful. It was warm, but not too hot; and then there was this most refreshing breeze that blew through the valley. It was there that we let Ruby enjoy her first cupcake, then rode the train twice, went on the carousel, and relaxed on the grass under a beautiful tree. It was perfect. Just perfect.

We then went to Barro's Pizza for dinner. Ruby loves pizza, and we love Barro's, so it was really a win-win for all of us. Plus, they have a really cute little kid's play area that Ruby was able to benefit from.

After dinner, it was back home to open her Birthday gifts from Grandpa and Grammy, aunts Angie, Erica, and Kim (uncle Christian and Lincoln), and Amber, who stopped by with her sister, and brought Ruby a baby doll.

We again sang Happy Birthday to her, let her blow out her candle, eat her final cupcake, and then it was time for the event that I had anticipated all day. The dance.

Growing up, we had a tradition in our family with my dad and his girls. Sadly, my mom thought of the idea long after my second birthday, but at least I was able to witness what a tender thing it was for my dad to take each of his daughters, at the close of their second birthday, and lead them in a dance. It was always to Alabama's Never be one. The birthday girl was always given a new dress for her special birthday dance with her daddy.

I asked John if he wouldn't mind carrying on this family tradition that was always so dear to my heart, especially because it was something that came from my mom. He was a good sport about it, which meant so much to me, mostly because I know he doesn't love to dance.

We put Ruby in her new birthday dress, and I got teary eyed as I watched John pick her up and twirl her around the dance floor. She wanted to get down pretty fast, which was really okay, because I loved watching them run, and laugh, and chase, and scream, all while the song was playing. Not exactly what I had envisioned, but it ended up being a perfect moment for me...and hopefully for John and Ruby, too.

That probably should have been the culminating event of the day, but we decided to really stretch out the celebration by watching the movie Enchanted together in our bed. It was after 10:00 at that point, so we were sure that Ruby wouldn't last more than 15 minutes or so. Contrary to our assumption, however, it was actually John and I that fell asleep, and our little two year old who stayed awake the entire time! By that time it was past midnight...and we couldn't get her to finally settle down until close to 1:00 am! Boy did I ever feel like a lousy mom for encouraging her with all of that sugar.

Even though we're all paying for it today (Ruby's sick with a cold, the house is a mess, and I'm exhausted), I still don't think I'd change a thing about yesterday. All day today Ruby has been talking about presents, and cakes (cupcakes), and candles, and singing the Happy Birthday song...and still carrying those keys around. That's really all that I wanted. I just wanted her to be able to laugh and smile, and do the things that she loves...and it's my hope that she'll continue talking about her birthday, for days to come.

Here are some highlights from her special day. (Played to Alabama's Never Be One, the song that Ruby and her daddy danced to.)

she takes my breath away...

Two years ago, and almost to the exact hour, I met my little gem for the very first time. I'll never forget the feelings of overwhelming and indescribable love that came over me the very second the delivery nurse laid Ruby on my chest. I remember how big her eyes were, and how alert she seemed, as she became familiar with this new and strange world. I remember that she didn't make a peep. She was tranquil and serene as she took her first breaths of life. I remember peering into her eyes, and she into mine, and then getting the feeling that we had known each other forever. I remember wondering what she was thinking, and wishing she could tell me, and then getting the sense that there was so much more to this baby snuggled in my arms. It was as if she had a wealth of knowledge, and the only thing stopping her from sharing it, was that the grandeur of her spirit was trapped in a tiny, helpless body. I remember feeling such a connection with her, and wondering how I could have previously lived so many years without her. In those first, quiet, solemn moments, she took my breath away.

And still, to this day, she takes my breath away.

These two years have truly been the best of my life. I never imagined how wonderful motherhood could be. Ruby makes me feel whole and complete. She makes me smile and laugh. She has taught me so much about life and love. She is happy, and lively, and cheerful, and innocent, and pure...and so full of love. In fact, everything I desire to be, my two year old daughter is.


John and I surprised her (first thing this morning) by barging in her room and busting out in the birthday song. I think it was a little overwhelming for her, not to mention a little confusing. We were bummed to find out the the disk in our camera was full, and that we weren't able to capture her excitement as she opened her presents. It truly was a sight to behold, and reminded me just how exciting birthdays are for kids. I took plenty of pictures though, which I will post later, but for now, here's what we have of the Birthday girl on video...

Happy Birthday - my precious little gem!

unforgettable moments...

I love photography. I don't really know the ins and outs, and I haven't learned many of the rules, but I have always loved to take pictures. I have owned dozens of cameras over the years, and have gone through countless rolls of film...all in an effort to capture life's moments. The moments that otherwise might be forgotten forever. There's something special about a photograph. Like almost nothing else, a simple photograph has the power to take you back...back to that perfect, magical, unforgettable moment in time.


I was so happy to have captured this magical moment shared by Ruby and her daddy. This picture really embodies the essence of their relationship. I love watching the two of them together. Simply put, they're crazy about each other.


John actually took this photograph as he arrived home from work. Ruby and I had been playing together on her bedroom floor. We got out a giant blanket to lie on, and played with her dollies and stuffed animals, and then read almost every children's book that we own. We laughed, and snuggled, and gave kisses, and sang songs...truly another of those beautiful life moments.

I'm so grateful that we have our little Ruby. I enjoy the time that we've been able to spend with just her. I anxiously await (and welcome) the addition of more children; but when that happens, life as we now know it -with just the three of us- will be gone forever...and we'll have nothing more than the sweet memories - provoked by hundreds and hundreds of photographs.